You Never Said You Wanted to Love Someone
by iKissedJBcho1
Summary: What happens when a certain werewolf imprints on Sam's little sister? Why, he reject's her of course... Edward Cullen to the rescue!
1. Prolouge

"Will you stop complaining! You're responsible for your own damn stuff, _you_ find it! I am not going to treat you like a baby anymore Taylor. You're 17 now and you need to stop relying on me all the time!" my mother yelled at me from the living room. I just rolled my eyes and kept looking for my stuff. I'm packing up and getting ready to head out to get on the plane to Washington. I'm going to the La Push reservation to live with my brother Sam and his fiancée Emily.

I haven't seen Sam in 5 years and I miss my brother a lot. We're really close, or at least we used to be. The last 3 years he just decided to stop calling and returning my emails. I was surprised on New Year's Eve when he called and asked me if I'd like to stay with him and Emily for my senior year.

My relationship with Sam has always been somewhat of a strange one. We have the same father but we have different mothers. Sam always said that we might have another sibling because of dad's little period where he decided to screw every available women in the area. Sam thinks its Embry Call, one of my best friends. We've never been a hundred percent about it though.

But I always noticed that we did kind of resemble each other…

"Well _mother,_ I just asked you if you'd seen my god damn stereo, not if you stole it! So just calm your ass the fuck down!" I yelled back at her. I talked to her like that all the time and she never did anything about it, so my assumption is that she doesn't care. I hated her so much for a lot of things, but the main reason was her making us move from Forks to Dallas.

As you can imagine, it was a _huge_ climate change. I hated the hot weather because it wasn't a normal hot, like around the 80, 90 degree range, no. It was in the 110, 120 degree range. And I fucking hated it.

"Don't use that tone of voice with me young lady! I could just make you stay and work on the farm with Max! I'll call Sam right now and tell him your ass is staying here!" she yelled as I lugged my bags down the stairs. I just rolled my eyes at her again.

I knew she'd never ever let me work on that stupid farm with her husband. She didn't even let me go out to the barn even though I went anyway to see my horse Ahyoka. She said it was because the barn was no place for a lady, as if she knew what being a lady was like.

I rode Ahyoka all the time when my mom wasn't home. She was the only thing that I'd miss from here. Yeah I had friends, but I was never close to any of them. They were more like lunch buddies if anything at all. I doubted that I'd miss them. You could say I was a loner, but it wasn't that at all.

I just don't like the people at that school. I never really fit into one group. It was extremely cliquey there. I'm half Quileute Indian, one forth white, and one forth black so most people can never really tell what I am. And most of the kids at my school were either Hispanic or white and they all hung out separated by race usually. Not because the school made them or anything, they chose to be that way.

I'm not very socially inclined either, especially because of the drama that happened to me a couple years ago. I'm sort of a pariah I guess, people avoid me. But I don't give a fuck.

I don't know the other parts of my heritage perfectly. All I know is that my mother is mixed. My grandpa is white, and my grandma is black. My mom never really liked my grandparents, and I have no idea why, so we never really were in contact with that part of my family. Once I really think about it, I was never really in close contact with either sides of my family.

I've met my father only once, and that was when I was 5. We'd lived close to La Push ever since I was a baby, and I would go to visit my brother every weekend and he would visit me on my birthday and on holiday's. He's 4 years older than me, so he always had somewhat of a better understanding of the situation than I did.

To me he was just Sam-face, my big brother. And to him I was Tape, his hyper little sister… but I was also the reason his dad left and the reason his mom was always depressed. I caused grief just about everywhere.

The last summer I was in La Push Sam took me to the beach with all of our friends. I was 11 and we knew that soon we wouldn't be seeing each other anymore. We had so much fun that day, no cares and no worries.

Jacob Black, Embry and Quil Ateara were all my right hand men and we hung out pretty much all the time. Leah Clearwater was with Sam and I remember how in love they were. Leah was like my big sister, Seth is her little brother and just a couple years younger than me, he was like my little brother. Rebecca and Rachel Black were also like my big sisters and they used to watch Jacob and I when we were little. Paul was Rachel's boyfriend and Jared was Sam's best friend. All of us were always together and they were like the family that I always wanted.

Even though we were all supposed to be having a good time before I was to leave, something was bothering me, and it had been bothering me for years. I felt if I was ever going to say it, it had to be now. My stomach churned as I had searched for the words.

"_Sam-pie… do I ever bother you? Like… do you ever think that maybe, if I hadn't been born, dad and your mom would be together?"_ I had asked him once we were all done eating and we started heading home.

"_What? No, you don't bother me, why would you think that? Did someone tell you that?"_ he said as he was holding my hand. He was 16, and he had scraggly hairs growing around his chin. His frame was lanky and he was beginning to look more and more like our dad. His mother made sure to point that out to him as often as possible.

"_Well… I overheard my mom talking over the phone to dad saying how she understands how I may be a nuisance to you, him and everyone else, so that's why we're leaving. So I won't be a problem anymore..."_ I let go of his hand and sat down next to a rock that was next to the path that led from the beach. He sat down next to me and hugged me.

"_You're not a nuisance, don't you ever think that. I would never wish that you hadn't been born. You're my sister and I love you. It doesn't matter the circumstances of how that came to be. Don't let anyone ever tell you differently alright?" _He squeezed me tight and kissed me on the head. I hugged him back, wishing that I didn't have to leave behind my entire world. I didn't know what I was going to do without him. I was leaving behind Leah, who was supposed to become my sister and Jacob who was my best friend. All of my family was going to be so far away from me.

It broke me for a while, which I think was why my mom did it. I'm glad that I'm leaving now. I'll never miss this place or my mom. I think if someone told me while I was gone that she died or was hit by a car or something, I wouldn't cry. If anything at all I'd probably laugh at her. Dumb bitch… it would probably be her own fault.

I carried down the rest of my stuff, including my guitar case and three suitcases that contained my mass amounts of clothes, shoes and my stereo (which was in my _mom's_ room. This bitch I swear…) I brushed past her and put my stuff in the back of my car. Now I was going back, and leaving behind the pit of hell that is Dallas Texas.

Sam-face here I come…

* * *

_A/N: so if you're coming back and re-reading this, yes it's been edited. ALOT. Lol_


	2. One: Slipping

As I expected the plane ride was long and boring. I slept most of the way and my iPod never left my ears. My music lulled me to sleep and I had strange dreams. But one stood out the strongest and scared me the most.

I dreamt I was in a padded room and it was split in two. One side was blue and freezing cold. I felt like I was being pulled towards it by my head. The other side of the room was red and scorching hot. I felt my heart yearning for me to go that way. I was being pulled by my chest.

There was a high pitched whine coming from above me and a voice in my head that kept screaming, _"MAKE UP YOUR MIND, MAKE UP YOUR MIND!"_ I had grabbed my head in pain as it felt like it was being ripped from my neck and the room cracked in half and I fell into the dark chasm. Someone was laughing from the hole beneath me… I woke up once with a start and the flight attendant, who was really cute if I may say, came to me and asked me if I was alright. I told him I was fine and tried to go back to sleep.

I did eventually, no dreams at all, only to be woken up by the same flight attendant telling me the plane had landed. I walked out of the plane and through the corridor. As soon as I got outside I saw two really, _really_ tall guys and a girl with three scars on the right side of her face, standing with a sign that had my name on it and they were all smiling ridiculously at me. Then I looked a little closer.

"SAMMY!" I screamed and ran towards my brother. I jumped up into his arms and he caught me.

"Tape, it's so good to see you," he set me down and his smile got bigger. "You got all big on me, what happened Lor-lor? You must be like, 5' 9" now. The last time I saw you, you were only 4' 5"," he laughed.

"_I_ got big on _you? _Have you seen yourself in all your giant ass glory? You must have grown like 5 feet, holy shit. What happened to gangly stick Sammy?" I play punched him in the stomach. He laughed and ruffled my hair.

"Yeah well, you shouldn't be cursing. I'll wash your mouth out with soap. Oh, and if you're wondering who the huge goober standing next to me is, it's Embry." he said nodding over to the other boy. I turned around and looked at what I couldn't believe was Embry Call.

"Embry Jaden Call, get your ass over here and give me a hug right now," I said dodging Sam-pie's hand as he tried to hit me over the head for cussing. He smiled a mile wide and scooped me up, gently kissing me on the cheek. He was gigantic, his huge arms basically crushing me. I took a second to myself to notice his toned body through his football shirt. That was definitely not there before… He noticed I was looking and smirked.

"I know I'm pretty sexy right?" he cheesed and I rolled my eyes at him. He and Sam are both like 6' 8", Sam is maybe an inch taller and they're both boiling hot. I was starting to sweat a little just standing around them. What the hell are they feeding these people?

"It's nice to see you Lor-lor," Embry laughed and gave me another bear hug. When I was done greeting my boys I turned towards the girl. She was really pretty and she smiled at me and gave me a hug.

"Hi, I'm Emily, Sam's fiancée. It's wonderful to finally meet the famous Ms. Taylor Uley. Sam's told me all about you." She beamed. I knew I was going to like her just from talking to her. She reminds me of Rebecca a little bit.

"Well, Sam's told me a lot about you too, like the fact that you're a whoop ass cook," I dodged Sam-pie again and he gave me a disapproving look. "_What?_ Isn't that what you said? Besides, it's not a big deal if I cuss. Mom's cool with it. I cuss in front of her all the time." I shrugged and he rolled his eyes, frustrated with my mother, which was completely understandable.

I had started cussing my freshman year in high school and my mom acted like she didn't notice. As a matter of fact she just joined me. I have to admit, I have a pretty bad mouth, but I can't help it anymore. It just comes out.

"Well then, if the love fest is over, don't you wanna go get your bags?" Embry said nodding towards the baggage claim. I nodded and grabbed his hand. I skipped over to the big revolving belts with all the passengers things that were begging to be saved from the dark scary tunnel that they'd come out from.

Embry kept up with me without having to skip (No fair) and we found my bags easily. They were bright blue and had pictures of clouds and unicorns farting rainbows on it, and in big black, sticker letters I had put the words: **PROPERTY OF TAPE…DON'T STEAL MY SHIT.**

Embry and Emily laughed at it while Sam fought back his smile. I knew Sam wanted to laugh with them, but he was too busy being in guardian big brother mode, which is what I also like to call _Sam a la stick up his ass_.

When I had all my stuff I told them we had to go to the designated pickup area so I could get my car, which is an Audi q7. It's silver and roomy, just how I like it. Just about every kid at my old school who actually owned a car owned either a truck or a SUV. This was the closest I was going to allow myself to get to that.

I'm a luxury car type person, I wanted a Range Rover but my mom wouldn't hear of it. It was apparently _"too flashy"_… too flashy my ass. What the hell did she think an Audi was? _Just the right amount of flashy_? But then again, my mother does like to control every aspect of my life. I should just expect this by now.

After we got my car we split up. Embry rode with me, and I followed Sam. It wasn't a long ride, but I couldn't help but notice how far away we were from everything. When I was little I never really noticed it but in comparison to Dallas, Forks and La Push combined didn't even qualify as a whole city.

We pulled up to a lodge style house surrounded by the woods. It was super cute and looked cozy. I hopped out of my car and began to get my stuff out of the car, but Embry already had it all out of the trunk. I thanked him and ran inside. The house is puny compared to the ranch house, but I think I like the smaller space. It's more homey and comfortable and it's warm. Not hard when you have living space heaters walking around.

"Here, I'll show you upstairs to your room," Sammy directed me. I followed him up the narrow stairs and into the upstairs hallway. There were two doors, one to the bathroom, and one to where I was going to stay. The room was pretty big and was about the same size as down stairs and had a nice sized closet. It even had a mini fridge and a reading nook under the window. I noticed the walls were painted my favorite color, sky blue.

"I hope you like it. Emily and I painted it blue because I know that's your favorite color. I got you the mini fridge because the downstairs fridge is forever being raided by the guys and I thought you might want somewhere to put your own stuff. Emily got the bed set for you and we're getting you a desk tomorrow." He said shuffling his feet. I turned around and gave him the biggest hug my arms allowed me to reach around his waist.

"Sam-face it's perfect, I love it. Thank you," I stretched on my tippy toes and kissed him on the cheek. He smiled and bent down to return the favor. Embry came up the stairs and put my stuff up by my bed then we headed downstairs. I smelled the beginnings of Emily's cooking waft into my nose, and I plopped down on the couch.

"Well, the rest of the guys should be here soon and Emily could use some help in the kitchen…" Sam said as he plopped down next to me. I got up and went to the kitchen to help Emily shuck some corn while bouncing madly up and down, waiting for my family to walk through the door.


	3. Two: Tripping

I got the pot of water to a boil and watched as the corn started to rise to the top, not caring that some of the hot water splashed onto my face. I heard the voices coming from the living room get increasingly louder, but I was preoccupied with the food on the stove.

Emily had left the kitchen a while ago and I paid no attention to it. I had drifted into my own dreamland until someone walked up behind me. I snapped from my trance and turned around to see who it was that had just interrupted my alone time with the corn. I almost jumped three feet into the air when I saw Paul standing behind me, or at least a big gianormous version of what I _thought_ was Paul.

"Jesus Pauli, you made me jump out of my skin! When did you get here?" I said, while he bombarded me with one of those huge bear hugs that everyone seems to be giving me lately. He laughed as he sat me down.

"Well we've been waiting for you to come out of the kitchen but I see you're in your own little world. So should I leave you and the corn alone?" he said the corners of mouth twitching up into a smile. I laughed and punched him in the arm, resulting in my sore hand. _Ow…_

He shook his head at me and walked out into the living room with me tip toeing right behind him, still on a high for some reason. _Damn that corn…_ As I walked through the kitchen door I stayed behind Pauli, trying not to be seen, but … shit…

"TAYLOR!" I heard Seth yell and I was caught up in another hug. I laughed and noticed he wasn't _little _Sethypoo, any more, he was humongousaurus Sethypoo. Damn, are all of the guys in La Push this _huge_? He sat me down and the next person I saw was Leah.

Grins crept across both our faces and we both squealed and hugged each other. Leah was practically my big sister and I missed her probably the most besides Sam and Jakey… speaking of which, where the fuck is that booger head?

I stopped hugging Leah for a sec and looked around the room for him and Quil was the only one who got why. He sighed and got up, saying hi and giving me a hug first before he explained to me why the most important person of all wasn't here.

"He's with Jasmine, his girlfriend. He called and said he was going to be here in a few minutes, but that was like a half an hour ago." He said sounding annoyed. I sighed and chewed on my bottom lip. Sure I guess I'm happy for Jacob-bacon, but is she really that much more important that he needs to skip out on family time? He could've at least brought her here instead of skipping out on us like a pussy.

"But don't worry he'll be here, cause if he isn't he knows I'm gonna kill 'em," Jared said sounding ticked also. I walked over to Jared and hugged him and decided to shrug it off for the time being. If Jake wants to be an ass, I'll let him for now. As long as everybody else is here he can poop out if he wants.

After a few more minutes I headed back into the kitchen with Emily and we prepared the food and set it out on the dinner table, and as soon as Emily called the guys all came rushing to the table and it became a war for the fried chicken. We were all having a good time, laughing, eating and making fun of Paul's inability to chew with his mouth closed when the door bell rang. A unison groan came from the table and I shot up to go get the door, already knowing who it was.

I flung the door open and saw Jacob Black and all of his late ass glory standing in the doorway looking at the ground. I put my hand on my hip and smacked my lips, tapping my foot for emphasis.

"Jacob Adam Black, what in the hell do you want? Didn't I tell you to get cho' ass here on time, boy now I done tol' yew!" I said in a fake southern accent. He looked up at me with a smile that suddenly faded. His mouth slowly dropped open wide and his eyes were bugged like he'd seen a ghost. I laughed and smiled at him, indicating that I was joking, but he still had that look on his face. Jeez, was it really not that funny..?

"Jacob, honey I was joking… are you okay?" I waved my hand in front of him and he shook his head trying to regain his focus. He looked at me apologetically and I felt a weird tingly feeling in my chest as he turned around and walked to his car. I felt Sam come up behind me and I heard him whisper something that sounded like,

"Goddamn it, he better not have…" I stepped from the door confused and went to go sit back down at the table. No one was eating anymore. They were all looking at me, expecting me to explain.

"He just stared at me with his mouth hanging open and his eyes bugged out like I was a fucking giant fish or some shit. Was my joke really not that funny you guys? You heard it right…?" I was seriously more worried about how funny I was more than the fact the weirdest moment of my life had just occurred.

Embry looked pissed as he got up and went out the door too. Everyone's interest in food seemed to dwindle and pretty soon I was cleaning up with Emily finally wondering…

_What the hell was that all about?_


	4. Three: Falling

It's been 6 days since I got here and Jacob has apparently made it his mission to stay away from me. I'm assuming this because I haven't seen him since that night. Everybody's been all quiet and I've pretty much been sitting at the house by myself and it's starting to piss me off.

It feels like everyone knows something around here but me. It's summer time, and here I am fucking sitting on my bed doing nothing. I wouldn't be lying if I told you I wanted school to start. It would at least give me something better to do, I hate being stuck here. Even more so, I hate being alone. Loner status is fine when you don't give a fuck, but here I do give a fuck.

Sam told me I was going to Forks High School in the fall instead of La Push high because apparently the learning environment is better. Whatever the hell that means… After a few more moments of currently hating my life I decided to head down to the beach hoping for other people to be there, like I said I hate being alone.

I put on my two piece and some shorts sliding a t-shirt over because I just happened to live in La Push, where the sun never shines. I slid on my Jordan III's, grabbed my guitar and bounded down the stairs, snatching my keys from the counter. Sam was with the boys on one of their "outings" which was the main reason never saw anyone and was bored out of my fucking mind all the time.

Emily had gone grocery shopping so I was by myself. I bounced out of the door in my ever optimistic mood making sure I brought my cell phone with me. I got in my car and headed towards the beach just glad to get out of the house.

As I pulled up, I was disappointed to see that there was no one at the beach. Hopefully people would show up later, it was 3:00 so they should soon. For now the ocean can keep me company. I hopped out of my car and grabbed my guitar then started down the beach until I found what I was looking for.

The long white tree stretched out and made the perfect bench. I remember coming out here when I was younger with Jacob to get away from my mom. I stretched out on the tree and tried to remember the first time I came down here with Jake…

* * *

"_Mommy! Stop it, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"_

"_Shut up you little piece of shit! I don't givva damn if you're sorry! Don't ever lemme catch you over there without me knowing ever again, you hear me? Don't even go there at all! Do you really think that they care about you more than me?" she screamed, plastered as she beat me. I hadn't seen Sam in a while and I wanted to see how he was. My mom wasn't home yet to drive me so I decided to walk there._

"_But I just-" she cut me off by slapping me across the face. I looked up from the ground at the monster that I _know_ is not my mother, but the demon inside of her that came out whenever she drank. When she was sober she was sweet as apple pie, but after a day at 1__st__ tavern…_

"_Don't tell me what you were _JUST_ doing! I don't give a damn! It's your fucking fault Joseph won't talk to me! Your fault I had to move, everything is your goddamn fault!" she kicked me and spat in my face, and left me crying on the kitchen floor…_

"_SHE DID WHAT?" Jacob half roared once I got him to get to the beach with me. I tried to quiet him down. I had left and ran with my scrawny nine year old legs to Jacob's house and told him because I knew he wouldn't try to do anything about it. Sam is a whole different story…_

"_Just please Jacob, don't tell anyone. Sam especially…just please Jacob, promise me…" I whispered sitting next to him on the tree. Tears began to fall down my face and Jacob held me close and rubbed my back and I fell asleep next to him while he whispered sweetly in my ear _

"_I won't tell, I promise…"_

* * *

Jacob was my protector and my best friend, he always has been. But now he has a girlfriend so I guess I'm not as important to him anymore. I'm sure that's always what happens in these kinds of situations. You know, when you're best friend starts dating someone. I hoped I wouldn't have to expect this of Jake, but oh well.

I picked up my guitar and strummed chords aimlessly falling into a dreamy state as my eyes glossed over and I became lost in my music… only to be interrupted by very loud giggling followed by a high pitched screech. Then an obnoxious giggle filled my ears, Jake's name on her tongue and thought I might throw up.

Who does he think he is, ignoring me then trumping some girl around? I know I sound like the jealous best friend right now, but it's pissing me off. The hairs on the back of my neck were standing on end. I blocked it out to the best of my ability and began to play again, but this time I sang along to what popped into my head…

_Can you hold me, like you used to? __Can I be the same one, that you call your baby? __Can we be together, like when I dream it? __If I let you love me, will you mean it? __I wanna be in your head all the time, I wanna be the one you can't get off your mind. __I want you to love me like they do, in the books I've read. __I wanna be able to tell you my dreams w__ithout the fear that you might laugh at me. __I wanna be, oh, I wanna be…_

I stopped as I heard another squeal and I wished I could rip out the lungs of the stupid bimbo they belonged to. I tried to play again but the constant screaming was still pissing me off…

"HOLY SHIT, SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE AND I REALLY FUCKING CAN'T WITH YOUR STUPID ASS SQEALING EVERY 5 FUCKING SECONDS! THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE ARE ON THIS GODDAMN BEACH YOU KNOW!" I yelled in the direction of the squealing. I was standing and my fists beginning to turn white from how hard I was squeezing them. Then when my rage was down I noticed I was looking at probably the last thing on this earth that I would ever want to see.

Jacob holding a half naked girl in his arms, he's sweaty and a particular part of his pants is sticking out and deciding to say hello to me. I scrunched my nose in disgust and got up. I really didn't need to see that… _just walk away Taylor, walk away…_

"Tape! Wait up!" I heard Jacob call after me. I really don't hope he felt he needed to explain that to me, because I could do without thank you very much. I don't think anyone would need someone to explain what they were doing.

I heard his footsteps come up behind me and I sped up, not wanting to be around him at all. "Come on Taylor!" he tried again. I don't like being angry, and I don't like avoiding my friends so I decided to turn around. He was still running towards me, trying to put his shirt on and the girl was tripping behind him trying to put her shorts back on.

"Jake, I really don't feel like talking about it. You can go back to whatever the hell you were doing because apparently fucking your girlfriend is more important than seeing me. You've been avoiding me all week and it's really pissing me off and making me feel like you don't even _want _to see me. And you know what after seeing this… I'm going back to Sam's because clearly fucking around is more important to you," I turned back around and unlocked my car door. I climbed in and looked one more time at Jacob… and Jasmine.

I think I'm going to puke.


	5. Four: Lying

When I got home Sam and Emily were home and Emily was making steak and mashed potatoes. I lingered at the front door for a moment to take in the mouthwatering smell and then I went straight upstairs. I heard Sam ask what was wrong, but I ignored him. I wasn't trying to be a bitch but I just wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone right at the moment.

I have no idea why seeing Jacob like that on the beach bothered me so much, it shouldn't. I should be happy for Jacob, better yet I shouldn't care. But something inside of me was weeping as if I'd lost the most important thing in my world. Sure Jacob is my best friend and it hurt me that he didn't want to spend some time with me, but this was ridiculous. I felt like crying, but I wouldn't let the tears come knowing I was being childish. But then again, when am I not acting childish?

I grabbed my guitar and began to play the first song that came to mind…

_We're the best of friends  
And we share our secrets  
He knows everything that is on my mind  
Lately something's changed  
As I lie awake in my bed  
A voice here inside my head  
Softly says_

_Why don't you kiss him_  
_Why don't you tell him_  
_Why don't you let him see_  
_The feelings that you hide_  
_'Cause he'll never know_  
_If you never show_  
_The way you feel inside_

_Oh I'm so afraid to make that first move_  
_Just a touch and we_  
_Could cross the line_  
_Every time he's near_  
_I wanna never let him go_  
_Confess to him what my heart knows_  
_Hold me close_

_Why don't you kiss him_  
_Why don't you tell him_  
_Why don't you let him see_  
_The feelings that you hide_  
_'Cause he'll never know_  
_If you never show_  
_The way you feel inside_

_What would you say_  
_I wonder would he just turn away_  
_Or would he promise me_  
_That he's here to stay_  
_It hurts me to wait_  
_I keep asking myself_

_Why don't you kiss him (tell him you love him)_  
_Why don't you tell him (tell him you need him)_  
_Why don't you let him see_  
_The feelings that you hide_  
_'Cause he'll never know_  
_If you never show_  
_The way you feel inside..._

_Why don't you kiss him?_

I turned around to the sound of clapping and I felt the embarrassment come rushing to my cheeks. He's obviously just trying to be on my bad side. Jacob walked over and sat next to me on the small couch that Sam had brought up here a couple days ago. I scooted away from him and crossed my legs under me.

"Who said you could just come in here like that? The door was closed and the sign was out. What part of _leave me the fuck alone_, do you not understand? You can read right?" I snapped at him, referring to the sign on my door that read "_Tape's room, leave me the fuck alone!"_ on one side and on the other side it said _"Taylor Uley's room. come in or whatever" _I turned it to the _"leave me the fuck alone"_ side before I came in. I had an argument with Sam about the "fuck" part, but that argument was very short lived.

"I'm sorry. I should've knocked… are you mad at me?" he spoke in his "am I in trouble?" voice. I looked over at him and his lips were poked out in a pout. I sighed and rolled my eyes at him.

"No, I'm not mad at you in particular. I'm mad at everyone okay? It's so irritating because everyone has decided that I don't matter. I've been sitting in this stupid house all by myself for the last few days with nothing to do. I was hoping that me and you could hang but… you obviously have more important things to do along with everyone else." I said making sure I sounded as neglected as I felt. Maybe I was overreacting, but it sucks being in a house all by yourself in a place where you barely know anyone and the people you do know are never there.

"Come on Na-Na, you know it's not like that," he said using the nick name that he gave me when we were little. Everyone either calls me Tape, Taylor, or lor-lor, but Jacob wanted to call me something that wasn't completely obvious. One of my middle names is Natasha, so then Na-Na was born.

I've never let anyone else call me that, only Jake. I knew he was only calling me that so he could get on my good side, but it wasn't working. It was just making me angrier.

"Well then please intrigue me, what is it like? Because what it looks like to me is that your new girlfriend is more important to you. Which is fine and dandy and shit, whatever, but I've been here for a week and you haven't said one word to me and then when I do see you, you're about to fuck her on the beach. So how else am I supposed to-" I was silenced by something warm on my lips. I knew what it was and the better part of me wanted to protest but I felt so right and so natural. It was like my lips were made specifically to caress his…

When the warmth left my lips it took me a while to register what had just happened. My eyes fluttered open and Jacob was inches from my face. My first thought was _AGAIN, AGAIN!_ But my second thought was _WHAT THE FLYING FUCK?_

I felt his fingers interlace with mine before he whispered he was sorry and then he left me. I was disoriented, completely confuzzled, but then I was overcome by sadness. He left me here like it was just the easiest thing in the world, I felt forgotten. I ached physically and emotionally… I felt abandoned.

I'm alone again.

* * *

_"I don't want to leave you Jake. You're my best friend, I don't know what I'll do without you. I don't want to be alone. This isn't fair." I hugged Jacob tightly, not ready to leave the one that I loved the most. After the night that I came to Jacob, we'd become closer than ever. Whenever my mom came home smashed, I would run to Jacob and we'd walk down to the beach and lay on the tree and he'd sing me to sleep. But now I was leaving, and my sanctuary couldn't come with me._

_"I know, I don't want you to leave either but I don't think we have a choice. I can't come with you and you can't stay… no matter how much I want you to. Just promise me one thing Na-Na," he said hugging even tighter._

_"Sure, anything," I looked up at him._

_"Promise me you'll wait for me. I really, really like you Taylor and I always will, you're my girl." He kissed me on the forehead as I nodded._

_"And you're my guy," I looked into his deep brown, almost black eyes and leaned forward…_

* * *

That was my first kiss, and I'd done exactly that, I'd waited. I'd actually been hoping that Jacob would do the same considering that he told me to wait for him… but then again, he was 13 at the time and love isn't a concept many 13 year olds understand. He told me to promise and I did, I would think that since he told me to wait for him, he would be waiting for me.

But I guess it's not like I haven't been lied to before…


	6. Five: Dying

**Jacob's p.o.v.**

I don't want to leave her there, but I have to. She's my imprint and I love her, but I mean its _Taylor_. That would be weird. And I could never hurt Jasmine like that. I love Jasmine more than I've loved anyone in my entire life. I can't let my stupid werewolf genes get in the way of what we've planned together. I want to marry Jazzy and live my life with her by my side.

I hate the fact that Tape is mad at me, and I probably shouldn't have kissed her but I needed some kind of conformation that I was doing the right thing… it just sucks that I didn't get it.

That kiss was indescribable. It was like nothing I'd ever felt before, like there were titanium butterflies in my stomach. I wanted to put my fingers in her hair and hold her to me and just keep kissing her forever… but Jasmine was playing in my mind at the same time and I knew I had to get back to her.

I passed Sam on the way in and he glared at me from the corner of my eye, it was beyond uncomfortable. I passed Sam on my way back out but this time he stopped me and pushed me on the couch. _Hard_.

"You better get your act together Black, because if you hurt my baby sister, I'm going to hurt YOU. Just because you're supposed to be alpha doesn't mean I'm going to take it easy on you either. Get your feelings straightened out before you make any decisions because Taylor has been through too much for you to come and fuck up like this. Most of the crap that's happened, you don't know about yet but the beating you do know about and I'm pissed that you kept it from me. But that's in the past. I trust you Jacob. Don't make me have second thoughts about this." He hissed, and for the first time in my life, I was afraid of Sam. "You got that Black?" I sat there dumbly and all I could do was nod.

"Good, don't fuck this up." He said stepping out of my way so I could get up. I was shocked at his overall language choice and I knew he meant every word he spat at me. Tape is Sam's life right next to Emily. Even when he and Leah were together, Tape came first. She always came first for him. It would be an understatement to say he loved her more than life itself.

I hope for my own sake and Taylor's that I don't fuck this up. But knowing myself, I probably will anyway. I walked to my car were Jazzy was waiting for me. I opened the door and she smiled at me. Surprisingly my heart rate stayed the same. That's weird.

"So, how'd it go? Is she still mad at you?" she took my hand and kissed my cheek. I still felt nothing.

"I don't know really, but she should be fine. Knowing her she'll be over it soon enough, that girl's like a rubber band." I said leaning in so I could kiss my girl… _my girl…_ those words don't feel right anymore.

"Well good, so now since that's all taken care of why don't we get back to what we were doing?" she whispered seductively in my ear. And again, oddly I felt nothing. Ususally Jasmine knew exactly how to drive me up the wall, one of the many reasons I love her, but right now it's like everything is shut off. Even saying that I love her feels weird.

"That sounds good to me," I said, kissing her with as much passion I could muster. But for some reason it all just didn't feel right to me anymore. I could feel Taylor's hands still locked with my own…

I heard someone walk by the car and one very loud groan. I ignored Embry and went on with my make out session, trying to get as into it as I could. But then I heard it, the blood curdling scream. It came from Tape's room…

I quickly parted from Jasmine to see Seth, Paul and Quil run inside with panic on their faces. What the hell…?

* * *

**Tape's p.o.v.**

After I heard Jacob leave, I decided to go downstairs. My lips tingled and I ran a finger across my bottom lip. I could taste his sweetness as I ran my tongue across it and I froze on the steps.

Why would he do that to me? Why would he kiss me and leave me? He knows I don't like to be left alone. When he would help me fall asleep I always begged him to stay with me. I remember once I woke up in his bed and he wasn't there. I had a panic attack. The room felt like it was collapsing all around me and I started to hyperventilate. He was only in the bathroom but I couldn't handle thinking that he'd left me alone.

I can't do this with him, not now and not ever. I shot back up the stairs and went to my room. I closed the door behind me and locked it as I felt a hole begin to drill itself in my chest.

_What the hell is going on with me? _I rubbed my chest and ran over to my window to get some fresh air before I threw up. But I didn't get a breath of fresh air at all. I got a landslide crushed into my chest as I saw Jacob in his car with Jasmine. Her brunette hair and pale skin against his own deep tan skin as they kissed intensely in his front seat. His hands caressed her face and her hands were intertwined in his hair. The windows were getting steamy…

I swear I'm never ever going to ride in his car… _ever_.

What is this? This crushing, deafening feeling that I'm getting like someone's tearing me in half? _It hurts…_ I felt hot and ripped off my t-shirt, clutching at my chest as I sank down to the floor. Then I felt something warm and metallic tasting begin force its way up my throat. I coughed and sputtered then I screamed as I saw blood come spewing out of my mouth. Sam was up in a flash and he pounded on the door.

"Taylor! Open the door, what happened? Are you okay…? Taylor?" he sounded panicky and I tried to crawl over to the door to unlock it but my body felt like it was made of granite.

"Sammy… I can't…" I managed to whisper. Then I hacked up more blood, my throat was burning and I got scared. "Sammy! Help me…" I screamed hoarsely.

"I'm coming Taylor!" I heard him yell, along with his body pounding up against the door. My vision was becoming fuzzy and my hearing was becoming numbed as I heard more panicked voices. My body convulsed and I threw up more blood and flames shot through my body as I heard them finally burst through my door.

I heard Leah scream, along with several other voices. I tried to turn myself over but I couldn't move. It was like gravity had been turned up seven-hundred fold. I felt someone lift me off of the ground and that it was going to be okay and I knew it was Embry. I tried to nod, but my neck was locked in a crooked position and hung over his arms. All I could do in response was groan.

_For you Em…_


	7. Six: Realizing

**Sam's p.o.v.**

I burst through the door and I saw what I hoped was just me having a very realistic nightmare. My baby sister was lying on the ground surrounded in a pool of her own blood and it looked like her lungs were trying to jump out of her chest.

Leah screamed and Emily gasped beside me. I couldn't move as Embry brushed past me and picked her up. Tears pooled in his eyes as he looked upon our sister as she dripped with blood, her head hanging over his arm limply.

"It's okay Tape, hold on for me… please," he whispered, his voice cracking and sounding broken. She groaned and he kissed her on the cheek. She looked so small and weak, my heart cracked strait down the middle. I looked around and saw Emily trying to calm Leah down, a feeling of déjà vu coming over me. I closed my eyes and took a breath to come back to earth, my alpha mode coming in full swing.

"Embry get her downstairs and out to my car. We need to get her to the hospital, _now_." I ordered. Embry nodded and rushed down the stairs as he cradled her in his arms, tucking her in close as not to bump her head on the wall. I followed him down the stairs and heard the heart rates of my pack mates quicken as he ran past them.

Leah and Emily were right behind me as I ran outside and jumped in the front seat of my car, ignoring Jacob as he got out of his car and tried to ask me what was going on. I don't have the patience for him today.

Embry opened the back door and gently laid her in the back seat of my truck and sat down next to her. Emily hopped in the passenger seat and Leah sat in the back. She and Embry laid Taylor onto their laps, Leah stroking her head and whispering to her softly. My heart was beginning to break even more as I pulled out of the drive.

I couldn't help but to look into my rearview mirror to see Jacob yelling at Seth and Quil, no doubt wanting to know what was happening. Jared and Paul were yelling back at him and he pushed past them and got in his car. The boys piled in behind him and began to follow us.

Anger boiled up inside of me. _Oh, now you care…_ I shook my head and focused on getting my baby sister to the hospital so we could figure out what was wrong with her. I'd never seen anything like that before, her ribs and lungs showed clear through her chest like her skin was see-through. It was the scariest thing I'd ever seen…

I heard Tape whimper and everyone's heart sped up including mine. I accelerated and weaved through the traffic becoming impatient with every car that was going under 60. I felt Emily's hand caress mine and I relaxed knowing that I needed to slow down for the sake of all of us staying alive. When we finally got to the hospital I pulled into the emergency entrance and stopped the car. Leah hopped out of the back and Embry gently carried Tape out of the backseat. I got out of the car and ran inside with Embry and Leah, Emily trailing behind us.

"Can somebody help us please!" I shouted amongst the commotion in the ER lobby. Then I heard Taylor take a sharp breath. I turned around and her eyes flew open and they looked like they were going to pop out of her head. More blood began to gurgle and pour from her mouth and I noticed that Jacob had come inside and he was holding his girlfriends hand. Taylor lurched and screamed as they came closer and it hit me.

I know what's wrong.

"Get away from here Jacob! _You're_ doing this to her!"I yelled at him. I noticed Leah's eyes widen with understanding and she put her hands over her mouth, no doubt to keep from screaming. Embry looked more and more afraid as ourbaby sister squirmed in his arms. I walked over to Embry and reached out for her, he looked at me then at Taylor's twisted figure then handed her to me. I nodded over to Leah and he walked over to her and helped her to get Jacob and Jasmine out of here before they killed my sister.

Three nurses and a doctor came into the room with a stretcher and I noticed from the smell that the doctor was Carlisle Cullen, a vampire. I laid her down on the stretcher and she looked up at me with tears in her eyes as they began to roll her to the ER.

"Samuel Uley?" the vampire asked me as they took her inside. I nodded and looked through the glass windows at my sister in pain. "Is she a…" he began to ask. I shook my head, and then I faltered.

"Well… she is half Quileute. We have the same father, so there is a possibility of her changing. But it hasn't happened yet. Do you think that this has to do something with that?" I suddenly became afraid that my sister might have to be cursed with the same fate that my pack mates and I had to endure. I wished for anything but that when she came here, but my wish is apparently not coming true. She'd been through enough already. She doesn't need this added drama, especially on top of Jacob's bullshit.

"It might. I noticed that when you put her on the dolly, her legs were abnormally shaped and she had bits of… fur on her legs. In patches like she was beginning to change but, she was maybe having some difficulty. I don't know what it might be that caused that but I think that you should let me examine her at my home. There are things that might become suspicious to other doctors and might expose you, and maybe even me. It's safer that way for the sake of our existence staying secret." He explained, watching for my reaction.

I just sighed and nodded. He waited a couple of minutes before he walked inside the room. After about an hour the nurses left the room and told me that she was cleaned up and that Carlisle said I could go inside.

I'll have to explain all of this to her now. She knows the legends of our tribe but she doesn't know they're true yet. She just moved back here a week ago and she's already going through all this. I thought that I could protect her here but of course all of this had to happen. Jacob and his stupid girlfriend Jasmine… I never liked her. I've always had this bad feeling about her and now I know why.

I walked into the room and gazed upon the fragile shape of my baby sister. Déjà vu slapped me in the face as I watched her chest slowly rise and fall. I saw Emily's face flash in my mind. Her beautiful face in such excruciating pain and it was all my fault… I blinked back tears as I saw Taylor shift in her bed and groan. Her eyes opened slowly and she smiled when she saw me. I smiled back at her and pulled a chair to her bedside.

"Hey, how do you feel?" I said as I stroked her forehead, pushing her bangs from her face. She smiled and closed her eyes.

"Like shit… my chest and legs still kind of feel funny. But other than that I'm just really exhausted." she mumbled. I sighed and thought of how I should tell her exactly what was happening to her. The werewolf part was only the smaller half of it. How could I possibly tell her that her best friend was killing her?

Jacob didn't know yet, but his decisions were the reason we were in this mess. Why did he have to imprint on _my_ sister? On top of that, why does he have to be such an idiot? _That dumb, hardheaded, asshole, stubborn…_ my hands began to shake and I felt Tape's hand reach out and take my hand.

"I'll be alright Sam, I promise… btw, what's that smell? It's… really sweet, it kinda burns my nose. You smell it?" she said, wrinkling her nose. I had forgotten all about the vampire standing by the foot of the bed waiting for me to explain to her. Carlisle stepped forward and I sighed, dreading what I was going to have to say.

"Well, I was about to explain that to you, along with why you're in here," I said slowly. She just looked at me expectantly and I took a deep breath. "You know how when we were little we would always go down to the beach on Saturday nights around the bonfire and sometimes the tribe elders would tell legends of the tribe's history?" I began, and Tape slowly nodded her head.

"Well, do you remember the story of the sprit warriors and how chief Kaheleha had joined with the wolf and gave our men the ability to turn into wolves and the story of the cold ones…? How they smelled to them…" I waited as she furrowed her brow and nodded again, even slower this time.

"Yeah… but I don't get what that has to do with anything," she said scanning the room until her eyes landed on Carlisle, and then they widened. I feeling of dread overcame me as she came to the realization. "Wait a minute, are you trying to tell me that you're a werewolf? If this is your idea of a joke it's not funny," she said with frustration.

"I'm not joking Taylor. It's why we're always gone, we patrol around the reservation. We protect our people this way. All of the guys are, even Leah. She used to be the only girl in the group but now…" I stopped as I noticed her face change.

"Okay so, then that means Dr. Cullen is…"

"A cold one, a vampire… but he's different apparently. His clan doesn't drink human blood, only the blood of animals. We have a pact with them,"I explained. She just nodded and chewed on her bottom lip for a few moments.

"You said Leah used to be the only one. What does that mean? Are you trying to tell me that I'm one too?"she asked, sounding unfazed. I nodded and she just smiled. "Kick ass. I move to La Push and suddenly have super powers. Man this was great idea. Way to go big bro," she chuckled.

I just sat there in disbelief at how easily she was taking this. Other people probably would've had a nervous breakdown and gone into shock, but nope, not Taylor. I heard a chuckle and I turned to see it came from the bloodsucker.

"Well you're taking this rather well I see. And feel free to call me Carlisle okay? I'm going to be your doctor if that's alright with you." He said as he walked toward the other side of her bed. She smiled and nodded, reaching out to shake his hand. He took it and smiled at her.

This whole situation was creeping me out to be honest. She was just so cool with everything, but I really shouldn't be surprised. It's typical Tape to be completely accepting of the things that are thrown at her. But I _was _surprised that she wasn't a complete train wreck after what her mom told me had happened to her a couple years ago. I would think this would make her relapse or something.

"I don't mind it at all. I think you're incredibly awesome doing what you do. I mean being a vampire and working in a place chocked full of blood and not killing anyone, that's so bad ass. I'm sure I'm in good hands," She said, smiling even brighter. The bloodsucker just smiled back at her and nodded.

"Good then. Well I think that it's time I tell you that your brother and I have decided that it's best for you come to my home so I can examine you further and make sure that anything wasn't severely damaged during your… attack I guess is how I should put it. My family won't be around too much with it being the summer time and such. So you should be able to rest and heal in peace while I run my tests." He explained, Tape just smiled some more and nodded.

"Well then I guess I'll be looking forward to staying with you I guess." She beamed. Carlisle smiled back and headed towards the door before stopping by me.

"Do you wish for me to tell your friends that they can see you now?" he asked me and Tape. She nodded vigorously and I furrowed my brow.

"But Jacob can't come in if he brings _her_. Leah will know what I mean," I added before he nodded and stepped out of the room. I felt Taylor's eyes on me and I turned to see her confused scowl. I sighed as I began to tell her the reason she was here in the first place.

"I'm sorry Tape but its Jacob's fault you're in here. You know what imprinting is right?" I asked. She nodded again, this time looking a little peeved. "Well… the reason I left Leah is because I imprinted on Emily," I paused as her eyes got large and she tilted her head to the side.

"It wasn't a choice I made and it wasn't easy for me because Leah didn't know I could shift yet and I still loved her a lot… we tried to make it work for a little bit but… we didn't know that us being together would end up hurting Emily," I stopped as the memory came back to me. Hearing Emily scream as me and Leah kissed at Leah's front door, finding her crumpled on the floor like we found Taylor…

"So what exactly are you trying to tell me Sam…? Jacob imprinted on me?" she said taking my hand. I looked in her eyes and saw the hurt clear in them. The little girl in her was screaming at me and it hurt.

"Yes… and as long as he's with Jasmine your life is at stake. An imprint is not supposed to be separated, ever. And I learned that the hard way. I don't want you to have to go through what we did, I refuse to put you through that after what happened to you with James. I refuse to let anything happen to you Taylor. You're my baby sister and it's my job to protect you." I said as anger boiled inside of me at the thought of that filthy thing touching my sister. I thought I would phase right there.

"Wait… you know about that? Who told you?" her voice rang in my ears, bringing me back. I looked back into her eyes and she looked horrified. "She wasn't supposed to tell anyone, not a soul. Is that why you're doing this, letting me stay here? Sam, the last thing I want or need right now is your sympathy! Did you tell anyone else about this, is that really why no one's been by the house? Answer me Samuel!" she said, gripping my hand tighter. Her voice gained another octave every time she hurled a question at me.

I felt guilt come over me because she was right. I probably wouldn't have given her another thought if her mother hadn't called me frantic one night telling me that Taylor was gone.

"How much do you know?" she whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek. I wiped it and she sighed impatiently.

"I, uh… your mom told me pretty much everything. How long you were gone, where they found you, the tapes they found… what he did to you… I'm sorry Taylor, I should've told you that I knew. No one else but Emily knows, I promise. But you do know that eventually you're going to have to tell them Tape. They're your family just as much as I am. You especially have to tell Embry, he's becoming more and more suspicious of me. I can't help but worry on patrol…" I said, sounding sheepish. She turned over on her side and ran her hand through my hair.

"Sammy… I'm okay now, I promise you. That was two years ago. I'm okay, as long you don't tell anyone else Sam-face. I don't need you all to be worried about me. I haven't had a nightmare since last summer and I've been eating regularly. As long as I'm here in La Push with you Sam I'm okay." She whispered. I looked back up into her eyes and I saw so much in them, too much to process. I just sighed and heard the door open behind me.


	8. Seven: Starting

**Leah's p.o.v.**

"What do you mean this is my fault, how the fuck is this _my _fault?" Jacob yelled as my patience with him began to wear thinner and thinner. We've been sitting here for about an hour and I just wanted to punch him in the face a few times and get him to realize that his selfishness is going to end up killing our best friend if he doesn't get it together. Jared and Paul tried to help Embry calm him down, but Jake just wouldn't let up.

That is until Emily stepped in.

I gave up trying to get Jacob to understand a while ago and sat next to my cousin, her face set into a scowl on both sides. The scars that adorned the right side of her face were making the memories come back clearer. We had told everyone outside the pack she had been mauled by a bear, we told the pack that Sam had phased by her, but we hid what really happened. If Jacob keeps this up, in another week or so Taylor will have those same scars. We found out soon enough to stop them from going all the way down Emily's body.

We watched as Jared yelled and Jacob shoved. I heard Emily sigh, and I took her hand. She squeezed my hand and leaned towards me.

"He's being so ridiculous… I know he loves her, seeing her like that must've hurt him, but this is silly. And as much as I tolerate Jasmine, she's being a... _bitch_. I want to just tell them…" she said shaking her head.

I nodded in agreement, right before Jacob shoved Paul this time. Emily squeezed my hand one more time before she got up and walked over to them. Everyone just stood back in awe as she walked straight up to the fuming werewolf and slapped him clear in the face. Jacob let out a gasp and she shook her hand out because slapping a werewolf often resulted in a hurt you.

"Jacob, shut the fuck up and listen. This _is_ your fault and I'll tell you why, but not in here. Jasmine needs to hear this too." The cold hard look on her face made him cower back and she grabbed his ear and dragged him outside, his little skank following them and demanding to know what was going on. The annoying bitch hadn't shut up since we fucking got here…

I knew this whole situation was hurting Emily probably the most out of us. She had actually felt the same pain that Tape had, and she knows how this might end. We had hoped that we didn't have to experience anything like this again with any of the other pack members. Sam must be breaking right now, he loves that girl to death.

The whole reason Tape was here was because Sam didn't trust her mother. He wouldn't tell me why but I knew that whatever the reason, it wasn't light. The first couple days she was here he told everyone to be careful around her but he wouldn't tell us why. I wanted to take Tape down to the beach with me, Kim and Emily the first few days so we could hang just us girls, but Sam said she needed to just relax. He was beginning to bug me with his over protectiveness. Taylor is strong, she can handle herself whatever the problem.

I wrinkled my nose as I smelled the leech doctor come into the waiting room and he told us that we could come to see Taylor but by order of Sam, Jacob couldn't come if he brought "her". He didn't know what that meant but I did instantly.

"But only 3 at a time, she needs plenty of room to breathe right at the moment." He added. I nodded and Embry got up immediately along with Seth. Quil waved us forward and told us he'd tell Emily and Jacob as soon as she got done telling him off. But it was much more than that.

As the blood sucker led us to where Tape was resting, I found a tear roll down my cheek. I was hoping I'd never have to go back to this place once I changed and seeing Sam sitting next to Tape with her small hand in his made a few more tears come down. Unsurprisingly she was all smiles as they spoke to each other in whispers. I cleared my throat and they both looked over at us and smiled. Embry hurried over to the other side of her bed and Seth followed.

I pulled a chair up next to Sam and he took my hand and squeezed it. An electric shock traveled through my hand and up my arm at our contact. We never stopped loving each other, but we knew that we could never be together as a couple as long as Emily's life was at stake. But it's not like he doesn't love Emily, we just never officially ended it with each other. It was a silent agreement.

"So, how are you feeling?" Embry said, his voice a shaky mess. He loves Tape almost as much as Sam. Even though we haven't gotten to completely proving it yet, we all knew they were siblings. They all have the same cheeks, eyes and chin, along with the kind of lovability that could only run in the family. Taylor and Embry were almost inseparable, except when it came to Jacob…

"I should ask you the same. You sound like you just got done watching _Titanic_. It's okay, Sam cried too if I remember correctly. _"No, don't let go! The boat's right there don't give up yet! Noooooo!" _" she said mimicking Sam, adding arm gestures for emphasis. We all started laughing while Sam scowled. "It's okay Sam-pie, none of us question your manliness." she added patting him on the arm, he harrumphed and she giggled.

"Not like that isn't completely hilarious, but I'm serious. Do they know what happened, why it happened?" Embry said, holding onto her other hand. She sighed and looked at Sam, questioning what to tell him.

"Well, me and the leech think she was trying to shift but her body couldn't handle it properly. He said he noticed bits of fur on her legs and that they were shaped awkwardly." Sam saved. It was no doubt he told Tape what was going on, and the rest of the pack wasn't ready to hear all of what happened yet. They'd all most likely try to kill Jacob. Not like he doesn't deserve it but we could use a little less drama right at the moment.

"He also said he's going to have me stay in his home while he examines me, so there isn't any suspicion going around about us." she added, sounding happy. I raised an eyebrow at her and Embry growled and Seth furrowed his brow. She just smiled at us. "Don't worry you guys, I'll be fine. He seems nice enough. And he said that most of his family won't even be home because it's summer time , so it'll most likely just be him there," she said mostly to Embry. He didn't look satisfied.

"What caused you to shift though? You were up in your room, what could've possibly triggered it…?" he asked. She looked down, then at me, then at Sam. She let go of Embry's hand and rubbed her chest.

"I-I don't know… I was just frustrated I guess. Maybe even a little jealous…" she mumbled. Embry was about to fire more questions at her, but there was a knock at the door. Seth shot up and opened the door.

"Oh… uh, hey…"

* * *

**Tape's p.o.v**.

Embry was about to ask me more questions (much to my annoyance) but then there was a knock at the door. Seth shot up and got it, like the gentleman he is and looked through the glass, his eyes getting wide. He opened the door and a bronze haired vampire walked into the room.

"Oh… uh, hey…" Seth stuttered. "I don't think you have-"

"Oh no I have the right room," the vamp cut him off, his smooth as butter voice slipped in and around my ears. "This is Taylor Uley's room, correct? Taylor Natasha Samantha Uley to be specific," he said, looking around until his eyes landed on me, a crooked smile adorning his lips. Sam stood and crossed the room.

"You're Carlisle's son right? I forgot your name, what is it?" he said gesturing inside indicating that he could come inside.

"It's Edward, thank you. I just came to tell you that my father thinks that it's about time for you to get ready to leave. He asked me to come and see if you needed any help at all." the vampire said, suddenly looking slightly uncomfortable. I was about to thank him and tell him we could, but Sam spoke before I could.

"Other than directions, we're fine. We can get her there," he said eyeing him suspiciously. I rolled my eyes and sighed loudly, shifting over in my bed. Everyone turned and looked at me.

"You know, I'd like to have a say in how I'm taken from place to place. Look, Sam-pie, I know you love me, but the vampire won't eat me or anything, right?" I looked over at Edward and he smiled and nodded. "See? I'll be okay for a few days without papa Sam, I'm sure the Cullen's are awesome." I said, trying to get Sam off my back.

He knows about James, which is someone I had hoped to leave behind in Texas, which means soon everyone will find out, and I'm dreading that day so much. Everything is going to change on that day… life sucks.

"Okay, fine… but you need to call me as soon as you get there, alright," he said, giving me his "no shit" look. I was surprised a little that he caved in so easily, and so was Embry. He was about to protest, but both me and Sam glared at him and he slouched back in his chair and pouted.

"But what about everybody else, they're going to want to see her. She doesn't have to go right now does she?" Seth spoke up. I felt another sting in my chest as I thought about seeing Jacob, but I did want to see Quil, Emily, Jared and Paul. Leah noticed that I'd put my head down and spoke up.

"They can see her later, she's tired right now. We should let her rest before everybody else sees her." she said as she started to the door. I sighed a breath of relief and she smiled at me and gave me a hug before she went out the door. Seth gave me a hug and followed his sister. Embry and Sam both gave me kisses on the forehead before also walking out, leaving me with Edward.

"So… uh, you're Carlisle's son. I thought he said that you guys were away for the summer?" I said trying to break the silence. He smiled a kind of weak defeated smile and strode over to my bed side where Leah and Sam had left their chairs.

"Yeah, only my brothers and sisters are gone. Alice and Jasper went to Seattle and Emmett and Rosalie went to one of their summer houses. Since I didn't really have anyone to go somewhere with I stayed home with my parent's." he said sounding neglected. Something motherly in me wanted to hug him tight, but the werewolf part of me wanted to gag.

"That sucks… well I guess you'll be stuck with me for the next few weeks until school starts. That's really not any better is it?" I mumbled. I felt his icy cold hand slip into mine and I looked up to see him smiling. I don't know why, but even though his hand was cold, I felt warm inside when he touched me. I felt blush creep into my cheeks, and his smile grew wider.

"No, it's way better…"


	9. Eight: Remembering

**Jacob's p.o.v.**

When Emily stood up, everything went in a blur. I never thought in a billion years Emily would ever cuss, let alone slap someone. Especially when that person is me. My cheek stung a little as her hand collided with my face. I let out a gasp and Jasmine looked like she was going to explode. Emily shook out her hand and stared at me with cold, hurt eyes, making guilt run through me.

"Jacob, shut the fuck up and listen. This is your fault and I'll tell you why, but not here. Jasmine needs to know this too." she hissed. My eyeballs almost fell out of their sockets when I heard her say fuck. Her tone and the look on her face shocked me and I was actually a little afraid.

She hopped up and grabbed my ear, dragging me out of the room, Jasmine following us and screeching at Emily to know what was going on. Emily just ignored her and continued to walk out and I followed behind, her hand still had a death grip on my ear. Once we were outside, she let go of me and Jazz rushed over to me and rubbed my ear and stood on her tip toes to kiss it. I noticed Emily's face twist up in disgust, another first.

I looked her in her eyes and I felt a pang in my chest at the completely devastated looked she held. Jasmine was still rubbing my ear and Emily gave her a cold look so I batted her hand away. Jasmine scoffed but I ignored it. Then Emily took a deep breath.

"I know that you're wondering why I brought the both of you out here," she whispered, sounding like she was going to have a nervous breakdown. "And you must know that I can't explain every detail to you because this is hard for me. I'll try but…" she paused and subconsciously rubbed her scars.

"Jasmine, Jacob has told you about the tribes history and legends yes?" she began, looking at Jazzy. She nodded and held my hand letting out a contented sigh. Jasmine knew everything, I had no choice but to tell her. I was going to have to sooner or later. She figured most of it out on her own.

"Well then you also know about imprinting I'm assuming," she paused and Jazz nodded. "Did Jacob ever tell you who he imprinted on? If not then I'll do it for him. It's not you," she spat out the last part and I growled a little bit out of habit. If Sam were here, he'd rip me to shreds for growling at Emily. Jasmine's eyes grew wide and she turned towards me.

"You didn't? But I thought you said… you said it felt the same way everyone described it as when you met me, you said you were sure of it…" she said angrily. I turned to her and was about to kiss her and basically lie to her. Sure I imprinted on Taylor, but she'd understand… wouldn't she?

"Jacob!" Emily was suddenly right by me and pushed Jazzy away from me. I was about to turn and ask her what the hell her problem was, but then I saw the tears. I stopped and Jasmine was about to throw one of her trademark fits, but she saw it too.

"I will not let you kill her Jake, I won't. I thought I could tell you but… I think it would be better if Sam and Leah were here to help me… there's a lot you don't know about these," she pointed to the right side of her face. "Like how they _really_ got there," she paused again and gulped hard.

"It was absolute torture, like being torn in two like you're nothing. There's this hole drilling itself into your heart and a huge boulder crushing into your chest… then the blood and how it pours out of your mouth in what seems like oceans… and the tremendous feeling of abandonment. You're completely alone…" she said, her voice making a great sadness come from me.

"And there's this sound of tearing as you are literally torn apart. In the same was your other half tore themselves from you… and now Taylor has to go through it. Your actions affect people more than you know Jacob… think about it," she ended and I saw from the corner of my eye that everyone was coming out of the hospital.

I looked up and the first person I saw was Sam, his eyes filled with agony, disappointment and hatred as he looked back into mine. Then he tensed and rushed over to Emily. She had tears still silently flowing from her eyes. Leah's forehead creased and she looked at me like she was expecting something. Then she walked over to Emily and Sam.

"How much did you tell him?" she whispered thinking I couldn't hear.

"I couldn't tell him much, it was hard to bring back… I couldn't tell him alone,"

"Then we'll tell him tomorrow, together. And I also think Billy should help us too, he was there also…" Sam whispered. They all nodded once and went to Sam's car, ignoring that fact that I still wanted to know how the fuck this is my fault. I wasn't anywhere near Tape, and she's my best friend, I could never do anything to hurt her… intentionally…

But maybe I _did_ do something...

"Sam! Is she going to be okay, can I go see-"

"No," he cut me off. "You are not to see Taylor unless she specifically requests for you. But for the sake of her and_ your_, well being, I would advise that the two of _you_," Sam spat looking between me and Jazzy. "Stay far, far away from her. Besides, she's not staying at the hospital." he continued to walk towards his car. Wait… not staying at the hospital?

"If she's not staying at the hospital, then where is she staying? Is she coming home?" I questioned.

"No, she's staying at the Cullen's so Carlisle can tend to her. Me and Emily are going to check on her every few days and she's coming back in three weeks. Which will give us plenty of time," he murmured the last part to himself and then turned to the rest of the guys.

"Tomorrow there will be a pack meeting at 12, and _everyone_ needs to be there, both you _and_ your girlfriends. We need to discuss Taylor's health and when we're going to welcome her into the pack." He explained. My heart dropped at the last part of his statement. What did he mean, Tape's a werewolf…?

He looked at my expression and nodded. I felt my heart plummet into the earth as I realized that maybe this _was_ my fault. I did kiss her and just leave her afterwards when I _knew_ she didn't like to be left alone like that. That much emotion could've triggered it. But something still didn't make sense. When Embry carried her out I remember seeing blood and her legs were shaped weird… did something go wrong?

I was brought back to earth when Jasmine yelled in my ear. I looked at her with my eyebrows raised and she just looked back at me smugly. I smiled and we began to walk to my car. Paul, Quil and Jared were already inside and Embry and Seth were riding with Sam, Emily and Leah. Embry hadn't stopped staring at me since he came outside, his eyes looking troubled, like he couldn't decide on something. I decided to ignore it and got into my Tahoe.

I couldn't help but wonder what Sam, Emily and Leah's problems were, it seemed to me that there was a lot they weren't telling me, and I wanted to find out what the hell it was.

* * *

**Tape's p.o.v.**

"Do you think you can walk to my car, or would you like me to get you a wheel chair?" Edward asked as he began to help me out of my bed. I thought about it for a moment and the thought of being pushed around in a wheelchair sounded like major fun to me.

"Okay, wheelchair it is," he beamed. I raised my eyebrows. How the fuck did he know that? He laughed and helped me sit back down on the bed.

"I can read minds, you'll get used to it. My brother Jasper is empathic and my sister Alice can see into the future, with the exception of werewolves." He explained. I nodded as if I knew what being empathic meant, which I didn't. He laughed again, and it made a warm feeling erupt in me, something I could get used to. He has such a beautiful laugh.

"Being empathetic means he can control and feel other people's emotions. And thank you, no one's ever said that about me before…" he said before leaving the room to get my wheel chair. He was gone before I could realize that he had heard what I thought about his laugh. I could feel my face heat up. I didn't mean to think that aloud. Whatever that means…

I leaned back on my bed and tried to think about what all of this meant. For one, I'm a werewolf apparently now, which is pretty cool except for the fact I almost died first time I shifted. Number two, Jacob is the biggest asshole known to man, making me wait for him then getting a girlfriend, imprinting on me and then just deciding he doesn't want me, resulting in my pain. Three, I was staying in a house full of vampires for about two weeks and I'm sure that despite my nature I'm crushing on one of them. And four… I can't hide my secret anymore.

I'd suppressed those memories so hard, that I was sure I'd never think of them again, but I felt them clawing their way back out to the forefronts of my mind again. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to think of something that made me happy. I usually thought of Jacob, so that's what I tried to do, but that just seemed to make it worse.

An image of James's face flashed before my eyes and I heard the laugh… that deep, terrifying, haunting, tormenting laugh…

* * *

_"Say it…_ _STUPID BITCH! SAY IT OR I'LL MAKE YOU SAY IT!" he screamed at me._

_"I-I'm a dirty, st-stupid slutty w-whore… and you are my master. I don't deserve your g-generosity and k-kind nature. I'm filth b-before your greatn-ness…"I muttered, his fingernails digging into my scalp._

_"Yeah, that's it," he chuckled. "Good girl… good girl…"_

* * *

_"Hey now, don't freak, I promise, it won't hurt. Just be a good little slut and do as I say. Then just maybe I'll let you live… Your mom is a dirty whore just like you you know. Stupid bitch thought she could two time me, but I showed her didn't i? Now I'm gonna show you…"_

_"No…. please don't, please… get away from me! No, no!"_

* * *

I clutched my head and tried to will the memories away, but no matter how hard I wished it, the memories just seemed to come at me stronger. I curled into a ball and tried to make it go away, I just want him to go away…

I thought I heard someone come into the room, and looked up from my position, hoping it was Edward. But I looked up and I saw _him_…

"No! You're not here! You are in federal prison doing a life sentence, you're not real, you're not real… go away, go away, go away!" I screamed at him and his filthy stench of beer and urine burned my nose and I almost threw up.

"_No, you didn't think you could get rid of me so easily did you. DID YOU, YOU DIRTY SLUT?" _he screamed at me. I flinched back and curled into a ball again and began to rock back and forth.

"You're not real…you're not real… you're not r-real!" I said to him, getting louder each time, trying to calm down. I kept repeating it until I was screaming, but he was still there. Then I heard someone run into the room and a gasp soon followed. I kept yelling, because James didn't go away and I soon felt someone wrap their arms around me. I started to quiet down, his voice soothing me until I fell asleep.


	10. Nine: Telling

"Taylor… are you awake?" a voice came from above me. My eyes fluttered open and I looked up at Sam-pie. He looked worried out of his mind so I started to sit up. I felt his hands softly push me back down. I smiled at him and he smiled back and kissed me on the forehead. I looked around the room and saw Edward standing in the doorway, his eyes held pain.

"Do you want me to stay, or do you think you'll be fine without me, because I can stay here with you if you'd like…" Sam said as he lay down on the bed beside me. I looked around the room for a moment, and I noticed I wasn't in the hospital.

"You're in my home, we brought you here after you had your… panic attack. You've been out for 3 days…" Edward answered my thoughts, his voice sounding strained. Sam took my hand,

"So do you want me to stay, you know, just in case…?" he said, sounding worried. I shook my head.

"Sam, go home and rest. I'll be fine, I promise. I just need to keep myself from thinking about it is all. Is anyone else here, or is it just you?" I said, hoping he didn't bring anyone with him. He shook his head.

"Nope just me… so you're sure you're fine? You need me to bring you anything at all?" he kept on. I just rolled my eyes and sighed. I looked over at Edward and thought to him playfully. You s_ee what I have to put up with? It's never ending with this guy._

I got a small smile out of him, but I could still see the pain in his eyes. I didn't like seeing the hurt in his eyes, it saddened me. I noticed his eyes lighten some as I thought this and they turned apologetic. I felt Sam get up and walk towards the door.

"Well, I feel like a third wheel so I guess I'll head home now," he said eyeing Edward, sizing him up almost. I rolled my eyes again and crossed my arms.

"Sam… go home. Now," I commanded and he looked back at me and gave me an "I'm only doing my job" look and I shot him my "I know you are, but it's pissing me off" look and he walked out the door. I sighed and shifted my weight in the big cushy bed, my legs having fallen asleep. Edward walked over to the bed with a fake looking smile plastered on his face. I raised my eyebrow at him and he put his shield down. Fear flooded into his eyes.

"Well, there's no doubt you want to know what my breakdown was all about huh?" I said, dread covering my whole body. I hated talking about this, that's why I never did it, that's why I didn't want to tell Sam, that's why I didn't want anyone to find out period. But it was going to have to be said.

"Well, yes but… if you don't want to talk about it I won't make you. I understand. You don't know me very well so it would only make sense if you wanted to wait…" he said, although I could tell he was itching to know. I needed to just get it over with anyway, I had to tell my family later, and they would be 200 times harder to tell… this would be good practice.

"But even still, I need to be able to do this. I have to be able to prepare myself and I think that now would be a good time for that. I may as well get it out, there's really no use in hiding it… but tell me this first… you know, since you can read minds and stuff… can you also _see_ peoples thoughts?" I said, becoming nervous. He nodded slowly and sat down next to me. "Well, what did you see?" I asked, hesitant.

"I… I saw a man, a disgusting looking man. And he… he called you some things. Then I came inside of your room to see if you were alright and you were curled up in a ball on your bed screaming…" he said closing his eyes. I swallowed hard as I began to tell my story…

"5 years ago, my mom made us move. She said that it was time we got to know ourselves and grow stronger as a family, but what she really meant was "you're a mistake and the cause for all of my problems so I'm punishing you by making you leave the people you love" the first couple months were the same as they were back home. I'd go to school, my mom would come home drunk out of her mind and beat the crap out of me for no reason and I'd just cower and listen to my mother "like a good little bitch" and life was shit as usual.

"My mom had multiple boyfriends, and each one chewed her up and spit her out like cheep gum. Two years ago my mom was in a relationship with this guy… James. But at the same time, she was dating Max. Max is a nice guy, but he barely ever came around. Then there was James… he was like the devil's spawn. He came over when he pleased and treated my mom like shit. He would beat her at night after they had sex, most of the time he forced himself on her. I learned after a little bit to cancel out the screams. Her life was her life, so I let the bitch ruin it.

"I tried asking her why she didn't just leave the asshole, and stay with Max, but she'd yell at me that her life was none of my business and that I was the last person who should be telling her how to live her life so just gave up. A few months after that, I think it was June… James found out about Max and went on a rampage. He came over to our house shit faced and ripped apart _everything_. I hid in my closet because I knew if he found me I'd turn into his punching bag. My mom came home in the middle of his rampage and he beat the shit out of her. I spent an hour in the closet crying, hearing her screams and hugging myself. He'd hit her before, but never as bad as that… for a while I thought she was dead… by I forgotten that he was still upstairs.

"I was crying pretty loudly, so he heard me. I was terrified when he ripped through the door and grabbed me by the throat… He held me there and I thought that I was going to die but, something much worse happened," I stopped for a second as a migraine begun to pound at my head, the hardest part of this was only yet to come… Edward was now lying next to me and I felt a small comfort having him close.

"I woke up, and I couldn't remember what had happened. I was in a dark room, and it was damp and smelled like booze and B.O. I tried to look around, but it was completely dark. Then I felt something holding onto my legs and I realized they were someone's hands… they were so clammy and disgusting as they went up my legs and he began to-to… _touch me._ He had my hands tied to the head board of on old mattress fame and… he did what he pleased with me. I tried screaming, but he'd just hit me and say no one could hear me. I was in his basement…

"He began to videotape everything he did to me and I was there for what seemed like an eternity. Sometimes he didn't even go down there to have his way with me. He would just come down to mess with me. He'd hit me and throw me around… he even cut me a couple times. He called my pain, his "revenge" on my mother and that he'd never let me out as long as the bitch still breathed… I was there for a month until they found me. Max had found my mom and she told him what happened and the police had only began searching immediately. They had been unsuccessful for a while because we had left the state. Someone in the neighborhood tipped them off on where he was. We were in Oklahoma.

"I remember that night they busted in the door. I was going in and out of consciousness as they untied me. My wrists were raw and my body was almost nothing… they said I looked like death had already come to me. like my spirit had left my body…" I stopped again, a huge lump in my throat was beginning to cut off my air and my eyes stung with tears as they began to slip down my cheeks. I felt Edward wrap his arms around me and I cried softly into them. I couldn't continue as the pain from every mark and bruise that disgusting monster had put on me began to pulse and my body felt on fire.

Edward softly shushed me and I shook with tears. After a while he began to hum and I took a small comfort in it, my shaking finally slowing down. I felt him lay a kiss on my head and butterflies erupted in my stomach and I held him closer. After a while I pulled away from him and looked in his eyes. He looked almost as tragic as I probably did at the moment.

"Thank you for listening to me, and sorry I've probably ruined your day…" I mumbled. He smiled at me and then he bent down and kissed me on the forehead, making my face heat up.

"It's okay. I'm so sorry all of that has happened to you, I never would've even guessed. You sound like such a happy person... and don't worry about bringing my day down. I think that having someone here with me period is fine. This house gets pretty lonely sometimes… are you hungry?" he said, beginning to get up. I smiled at him and nodded. "Well, come on. I'm sure we have some food somewhere in here, if not I'll take you out." he smiled. My eyes widened.

"Looking like this, are you crazy?" I looked at him incredulously. He chuckled and rolled his eyes.

"Your brother dropped off some of your clothes earlier. You should be fine." he said walking back over to me before running a hand through my hair. "And besides, I think you'd look beautiful no matter what you were wearing," he complimented me. I blushed and he dashed out the door and came back with my bag in his hand, then he disappeared again. I lay back on the huge white bed and sighed.

This is not good…

* * *

**Edward's p.o.v.**

I left her to change and couldn't help but to feel a little surprised at myself. I can't believe I kissed her on her forehead like that. And I called her beautiful to her face… I'd meant to keep that to myself but it slipped out before I could catch myself. But it was true so why hide it? I read her brothers mind, and I think she needed someone to lean on.

Jake, or whatever his name was, was in my little black book. I swear if I see that asshole, I'll rip him to shreds. Who does he think he is anyway, just deciding he doesn't want Taylor? Of course everyone else called her Tape but I think that she deserves to be called something a little more respectable. I bet if that ass knew all the shit that had happened to her, he'd change, but he doesn't deserve her. I shouldn't fall into this as fast as I was, but I couldn't stop myself.

Every time I looked into those crystal blue eyes of hers and felt her soft beautiful skin, I feel this huge urge to kiss her and hold her, yet I barely know her. She deserves someone who's going to treat her like a queen and be there for her and keep their promises. She deserves so much more than what she's getting, and I'm pretty sure in these next few weeks I can prove to her that I can be that one. Carlisle may not approve, but I don't need him to.

"Uh, Edward… I could use some help down the stairs." Taylor called. I was at the top of the stairs in a flash, and I paused when I saw her. She was so beautiful and if it could, it would've brought tears to my eyes. Her long legs glowed and her shape was hourglass perfection in the high waisted skirt and tank top she wore. She had on a pair of blue vans and her hair was down and a little messy, her waves falling gorgeously around her heart shaped face with some makeup slightly brushed on. She got ready fast.

"My knees and calves are still sore so, I'm not too sure on how well I can walk down on my own…" she muttered and I took her in my arms bridal style, and carried her down. She smiled at me, and I forgot for a moment that we were already down the stairs and just stared into her eyes, getting lost in a sea of sky blue...

She cleared her throat and I set her down, slightly embarrassed I'd gotten distracted so easily. She giggled and gracefully sauntered over to the kitchen.

I followed her, feeling like a lost puppy dog and she opened our fridge, which required her bending over. I looked away for a second but found myself slowly turning my head back. The first thing I noticed was the perfect shape of her cheeks and the fact that I could actually see them. She was wearing a thong… second thing I noticed… the two burn marks on the inside of her thighs in the shape of a "J" and a "B". Someone branded her…

"Your fridge is bare as bone, but I guess you don't really eat human food much huh?" she said standing up straight. I snapped back and made it look like I was looking out the window, but I think my eyes gave me away. She turned towards me and I could see from the corner of my eyes that she frowned.

"You saw them didn't you?" she accused. I refused to look over at her. She just caught me staring at her ass, I am not admitting to that…. "Come on Eddie, I know you saw them," she said, slightly catching me off guard my calling me Eddie. "The "J" and the "B" stand for "James Barbing". He felt that I belonged to him, I was his slave so… he marked me permanently claiming so…" she said, her voice quivering. I looked at her as she hung her head, looking ashamed and embarrassed. I walked over to her and held her chin up so I could look into her eyes again.

"Don't be embarrassed, it's not your fault. I'm sorry…" I tried to comfort her. I didn't like seeing her hurt like that and it made me angry that anyone would make her hurt. She grinned up at me and I smiled back, feeling strangely ecstatic.

"So where are we going to eat then?" she said walking over to the living room. I took her hand and headed towards the garage.

"It's a surprise…"


	11. Ten: Accelerating

**Jacob's p.o.v.**

Sam had called us all the day after we left the hospital and told us we had to postpone the meeting because of something that happened with Tape at the hospital. Every time I heard about something that was happening with Taylor, I got this weird dropping feeling in my chest like a part of me was expecting for something to happen that I wasn't aware of. It bothered me that she was hurting, but I had my distractions. Jasmine was pro at keeping Tape off of my mind in more ways than one…

We're having the meeting today, and we all had to bring our imprints (well, those of us who had imprinted yet) and in my case, Jasmine. The actual meeting didn't start until an hour after everyone got there, because apparently Sam, Emily, and Leah needed some prep time. Jasmine sat in my lap on the sofa and played with my hands, like Claire does. Emily told Quil he didn't need to bring Claire though, she said she was sure that this meeting didn't apply to them and she wasn't so sure that the meeting was going to go very smoothly either.

Finally, the three of them came downstairs and Emily and Leah looked like they'd been crying, so did Sam. His eyes were red. They stood at the front of the room and began.

"Now I know you're all wondering why we've asked you to come here today, and we just want you all to know beforehand that some of you might not like what you hear. But all of you need to keep a level head or else we won't get anywhere with this," Sam said, sounding like he really didn't want to be here.

"You all know that Taylor is at Dr. Cullen's home right now, and I know not all of you agree with this, but she couldn't stay at the hospital for the pack's safety, along with the Cullen's also. Taylor is a werewolf," he stopped for a moment as everyone slowly took this in, he seemed like he still hadn't digested it himself. Hell, I don't think he ever will.

"But, what we really need to talk about is why she needed to go the hospital in the first place…" he closed his eyes and took a deep breath and Emily took his hand and whispered that it was going to be alright. Then he opened his eyes and looked directly at me.

"Three years ago, you all know that I imprinted on Emily and you also know that she also got hurt because of me… but it wasn't in the way you think," he started. I felt everyone straighten up and really begin to listen. "When I found out that I'd imprinted, I knew that I loved Emily, but I also knew I loved Leah too, so we stayed together and I tried to deny my imprint…" he stopped and I saw Leah rub him on the back and then she took over.

"We tried to stay together, but we also noticed Emily was getting sicker and sicker. Then one day we came home from a date and we stopped outside of my front door for a goodnight kiss when… we heard Emily scream…. We ran inside and we found her very much the same way we found Taylor," she said and tears began to drip down her face. I felt my heart begin to drop as my mind slowly began to process what was going on.

"Those scars are separation scars. When an imprintee is denied by their imprinter, the imprintee will begin to undergo a very long and painful process of death because they're not complete without their other half and for them there's no point to live. Although the imprintee can deny its imprinter, she can only do so romantically. And that's only because the imprinter will always be with them in some way because they'll always be drawn to each other. But when it's reversed it isn't just romantically. It's physically, mentally and emotionally too and the consequence is death. Taylor is being denied and if her imprinter doesn't accept the fact that she is his fate then… she'll die in a matter of weeks." She choked out the last bit and I felt my chest cave in.

Everyone in the room turned and looked at me and the next thing I knew, Embry was on top of me. Jasmine was on the floor as Embry punched me in the face.

"YOU ASSHOLE! YOU FUCKING CUNTHOLE, IF YOU FUCKING KILL MY SISTER I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU! YOU HEAR ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" he roared. I hit him back and soon we had each other in a double headlock and barreled out the door. I could hear the girls screaming for us to stop and then we both shifted and rammed at each other. I could feel Embry's pain and hate with every lunge towards me.

_Embry! I had no idea, just calm the fuck down, I'm sorry!_

_Sorry doesn't cut it you fag! Your ass is dead motherfucker!_

_Embry get a hold of yourself!_ Sam shouted, and he Jared and Paul ran to break us up.

_Yeah Embry, as much as I'd like to kill him myself, it wouldn't solve anything. Now calm down! _Jared shouted. Embry had my right hind leg in his mouth and held it there for another 10 seconds before dropping me to the ground.

_Dude whatever, I can't do this…_ he said before running out into the brush. I looked at my pack mates and I felt their hate, disappointment and pain. I wanted to kill myself. How could I do this to Taylor? The last thing she needed was for me to hurt her like this.

_You don't even know the half of that statement. We still have to discuss Taylor's mental state and how and when we're going to accept her into the pack. I'm going to talk to you privately later Jacob._ Sam said before turning to go find Embry. I looked at Paul and Jared, then at Emily and Leah.

Emily was sobbing into Leah's arms, Seth holding the both of them; he was looking at me with disbelief. I can't believe this is happening to me... I saw Jasmine go past them and walk to her car. I tried to plead with her to stay but Paul and Jared snapped at me.

"No Jacob, I'm not going to be a part of this insanity. Go ahead and be with her I don't care. You lied to me anyway. You need to get this straightened out. so until then I guess I'll see you around," and with that, she left. I turned around and looked at the disapproving faces of my pack mates and I ran towards home. I have a lot of thinking to do…

* * *

**Tape's p.o.v.**

Me and Edward got into his Volvo and he began to take me to where ever it was he was taking me. I can't believe he saw the scars, they may be large, but they're in between my legs. I guess since he's a vampire he has better eyesight than most people, so he would be able to see them. Maybe I should've put on something a little longer…

Every time I see those damn brand marks I want to scream. What right did that scumbag have just claiming I was his? Thinking about it made me want to die. I also found it extremely ironic that his initials were the same as Jacob's.

And speaking of that asshole, every time I think about him I get this sting in my chest and a pull at my head. I can't believe he'd do this to me. Was I not good enough for him? What was it about her that was so much better than me? Why can't I be the one he holds close in his heart? It hurts to think that he doesn't want me just because I'm not her. _What did I do…? I didn't do anything, that's what I did. You know what, fuck you Jacob Black and your stupid werewolf assholeness, I don't need you you fucking cunthole. _

I heard Edward snicker and I turned to him and gave him a death glare.

"What, that last part was pretty funny…" he said looking straight, but a smirk was playing at his lips.

"Could you go just a minute without reading my mind, I'd like to have a second of privacy please." I said crossing my arms. He just laughed as we pulled up to an Italian restaurant.

I wasn't the biggest fan of Italian food (other than pizza) but this place looked nice. He climbed out and opened the door for me. He took my hand and helped me out of the car. We walked towards the door and as we walked in I noticed the waitress eye Edward with a disgusting glint in her eye.

Ew…

"Table for two if you would," Edward said, looking uninterested. She winked at him and purred, "of course" and flounced over to our table and laid down the menus. _Oh my god, I'm gonna throw up…_ we followed her and she gave Edward one last wink before waltzing off to do whatever it is slutty hostesses do. I just rolled my eyes and Edward laughed.

"You're funny you know that right?" he said, looking me straight in my eyes. I looked back at him and smiled slyly.

"Yeah, I guess…" I mumbled, looking at the menu. My eyes widened as I saw the prices. _Dude, freaking 20 bucks for pasta with cheese and butter on it… Are_ _these people out of their damn minds?_ I heard Edward snicker again. I looked up from my menu and gave him the evil eye.

"What, I can't help that you're adorable," he said completely serious. He smiled at me and I blushed and looked back at my menu. _Oh god… he just called me adorable, what the fuck? Who does that? I'll tell you, creeper teenage vampires, that's who._ He laughed again, and I rolled my eyes. _Well, you are kind of a creeper you know…._

"What? How am I a creeper?" he said sounding fake offended. I set down my menu and looked at him with my "are you serious?" eyebrow raise. He shrugged and I crossed my arms.

"Well number one, you read people's minds… I'd put that as a 200 on the creeper scale. Two, you barely know me and you just called me adorable. Three, I've caught you staring at me multiple times today, one of those times being at my ass…may I go on?" I said jokingly, counting off my fingers. He just chuckled and rolled his eyes.

"I guess you could call it that, or you could call it admiring a beautiful thing when I see it. And I can't really help the mind reading thing. To be honest it's not all that great. I can hear the thoughts of everyone in this room right now but the fact is… your thoughts are the only ones that I'm concerned with right at the moment so they come in clearer… and just to let you know, you happen to have amazingly shaped cheeks," he said, also keeping his voice down to a whisper, the last part a little seductive.

I blushed and I reached up and touched my face, my finger tracing my cheek bone. _You weirdo…_ I thought wondering what exactly that meant. He just leaned back in his seat and chuckled, and I swear he just had a Chuck Bass moment. Yes I watch Gossip Girl. Moving on…

"Not _those_ cheeks," he smirked. I widened my eyes and kicked him under the table. Yep, definitely a Chuck moment. He laughed and I flipped him off under the table right before the whore hostess came and asked us what we wanted to eat.

Neither of us could keep a straight face as she tried to flirt with him again, and failed miserably. We didn't talk as we waited for my food to come, he didn't order anything, him being a blood drinker and all. We just sort of… stared at each other. It wasn't weird, or awkward in anyway, it was… flirtatious.

I couldn't deny that he was handsome in just about every sense of the word, and he made it completely obvious that he thought I was pretty but what exactly does that mean? He kissed me earlier, not on the lips, but still. I know that somewhere in my heart, I'm longing for Jacob right now, but I also can't ignore the feeling that I have right now with Edward.

He makes me feel like I'm important and I know that he won't be and prick and just leave me, he's genuine and I'm pretty sure my heart is in his hands despite the black letters engraved into it that that spell out: PROPERTY OF JACOB ADAM BLACK.

What am I going to do…? I don't want to lead him on, because if Jacob comes around I don't think I'd have the will power to deny him. I'm his imprint, he's a part of me. I'd love him as more than a friend no matter how hard I tried not to… but I don't know if I could just accept him right off that bat after all of the extra pain he caused me…

Damn it. Why does my life have to be so complicated?


	12. Eleven: Accepting

**Sam's p.o.v.**

The meeting went exactly how I thought it would go…horribly. I understood how Embry felt but he completely lost it. Jacob's thoughts soon faded out as he shifted, and so did Paul and Jared's. When it was just me and Embry, I found him sitting on the cliffs staring out at the ocean.

_I'm not going to apologize to him. What he's doing is wrong and someone needed to beat his brains back into his skull. Whatever brains he had at all… _he said, indifferently.

_Yes Embry, I understand. I understand exactly where you're coming from. But you need to realize that you beating the shit out of him isn't going to help anyone. And I'm not going to ask you to apologize, but I do want you to go home and just rest a while. You're off patrol for a week. _I said next to him, sitting on my haunches. He growled and hung his head. I could feel his shame as he got up and trotted into the forest.

_As you wish your highness..._

_I heard that._

_I know._

I just rolled my eyes and felt him phase. I took this time alone to think about what to say to Jacob exactly. He seemed to be pretty badly broken up about it, but I still can't believe he tried to ask Jasmine to stay after what happened. Wasn't what we told him enough to make him realize that he needs to keep away from her? When Leah and I found out what was happening because of us, we stayed far away from each other for a long time.

It actually took us until three months ago to have a full conversation with each other… how could he even want to be around someone else? I couldn't stand to…

I wondered if I should tell Jacob about James or if Tape should. I felt so horrible when Carlisle called me and told me she had a break down right after we left. I feel like this whole situation is my fault. It would've been better for her to stay in Texas. She wouldn't have to go through all of this pain and hurt… but in reality, it would've happened eventually. Knowing Taylor, she would've moved back to La Push as soon as she graduated high school. By then Jacob would've been dead set on marrying Jasmine and this whole process would've been ten times harder.

I can't be selfish. She needed to be out of Texas, she needed to be far away from her so-called mother and far, far, far, far, far,_ far_ away from James. Even though he's in prison locked up for 25 to life, I will not allow him to be even two states from my sister. That sadistic bastard… I wish I could kill him right now with my bare paws. The things he did to her… I don't want to go down that train of thought.

"Hey… are you all right?" I heard Emily as she walked up behind me. I turned around and looked at her beautiful face. She sat next to me and rubbed my neck in the most soothing of ways. I lay down and curled around her, letting her pet my back for a while. After about 10 minutes sitting in heaven I stood up and Emily untied my shorts from my ankle. I phased and she shyly handed me my shorts and we exchanged knowing looks. When the only time you make love is in the dark, seeing everything in the light is a little eye opening.

"I-I was going to start dinner, catfish if that's alright." she said, a lovely rose color creeping her cheeks. I took her face in my hands and kissed her on the lips, something I haven't done in a while.

"Anything you do is alright with me, I love you…" I said, meaning every word that came from my mouth. She smiled up at me and whispered "I love you too," lacing her fingers with mine. We stared back home at a slow pace and when we got there I realized I still needed to talk to Jacob.

"Hey babe, you go ahead, I need to catch up with Jacob. I'll be back in about 20 minutes okay," I kissed her again and she nodded, a sad smile on her face. I hate being alpha…

* * *

**Jacob's p.o.v.**

I sat on the porch and stared out at nothing. I never noticed how beautiful the view was from the house, but it was an unsatisfying beauty, temporary and my excuse to not go over to the leech's house and get down on my hands and knees and beg Taylor for her forgiveness.

How could I think that leaving her wouldn't affect her? What in me could possibly make me _want_ to leave her? And how the hell could I ever kiss her and not know that she was indefinitely the _one_? I can't make sense of anything I've done since Taylor got here.

It must've been two hours I sat on the porch watching as the sun set when I heard footsteps coming in my direction. I looked away from the pink sky and at Sam as he loomed over me.

"Hey,"

"Sup,"

We didn't make eye contact as he sat down next to me on the porch. We both sighed and leaned forward on our knees.

"You know she loves you right?" he said, his eyes also fixated on the pink-red hue of the sky.

"Who?" I asked, trying to fake ignorance. I felt him turn around and glare at me. I couldn't look back at him.

"Taylor, my sister, _your_ imprint… She loves you…" he said, venom dripping in his voice. I froze and my heart stopped for a second as I stared into space. When he realized I wasn't going to say anything he leaned back and took in a deep breath.

"It's hard you know… losing someone you care about. I'd die for Taylor. I'd literally throw myself in front of a train for her… but it's so hard knowing that no matter how hard I try I just can't seem to protect her from the right things… or people," at this he pulled his legs up closer to him and wrapped his arms around them.

"You know she screams your name when she sleeps. Her mom told me ever since they moved she'd have these horrible nightmares and she'd scream your name until she would wake up drenched in sweat and shaking. She had one last week, the night you left at the front door. They've only got worse after James …" he spoke, his voice getting softer.

I sighed and dung my fingernails into my arm. My eyes began to burn at the thought of her calling for me and me not being able to be there. But now I amable to be there and I'm too damn scared to be there.

"Who's James… her boyfriend?" I asked, swallowing hard. That thought made my stomach turn inside out.

"I don't know, why don't you ask her?" he stood up and walked down the steps. I looked up at him and realization took me over.

"You mean I can go see her?" I asked, hoping I was correct. I have to see her, I _need_ to see her. So I can apologize…

"Yes, you can. But not today," he spoke, raising an eye brow at the smile that began to grow on my face, which quickly faded. "She just woke up today, and I don't think she's ready to see you yet. So wait until next Thursday, a week from now, _then_ you can see her." He said firmly, then he nodded and began to walk back home.

"Thank you Sam,"

"Don't mess this up Jacob,"


	13. Twelve: Rejecting

**_Next Thursday…_**

"Okay, I want you to try and phase. Your muscles are finally positioned normally and your bones are strong enough so when you change back they'll set correctly. Do you think you'd be up for it?" Carlisle said as I sat on my bed. It's been about a week and I haven't seen Jacob or anyone but Sam, Emily and Leah. But I haven't really been giving La Push much thought. Edward keeps me busy.

Now I'm at a point where I can actually say, I love Edward Cullen. He doesn't have to stay at home with me, he doesn't have to stay in my room with me, he doesn't have to hold me when I get nightmares, and he doesn't have to tell me I'm beautiful when I feel I'm not good enough, yet he does.

We haven't gone anywhere farther than kisses on the cheek on the physical contact side of our relationship, but I know that I definitely like him as more than just a friend. I don't really know how he feels about it, but I know there's something there.

"Well… sure. I guess I'll try it," I said not really sure if I knew how to shift or if I really even could. Edward was sitting next to me and he squeezed my hand and gave me a reassuring look. I smiled at him and got the same butterflies as always when we made contact. I hopped off of the bed and the three of us walked downstairs and past the kitchen were Esme was making lasagna.

Esme was the best mom ever. I had taken to calling her mom because she was just that. I wish my mother was like Esme. She could cook, she didn't hit me and she didn't call me names. She respected me and I respected her and I loved her like any daughter would her mother. She and Carlisle knew about what happened with James (through a very long process of tears and four tries…) and they were always there to support me.

"Good luck dear, I know you'll do just fine," she said giving me a hug before I walked outside with Carlisle and Edward. I was scared as we came to a clearing in the forest. Edward showed it to me a couple days ago. It was favorite spot to clear my head.

"Do you think that you should call Sam and tell him? I'm sure he'll want to be here to help you through it," Carlisle said, trying to make the situation a little less scary then he knew it was for me. I shook my head because I had an even better idea.

"No I think I want Leah to be here. Sam worries enough about me as it is and I think that I'd be more comfortable if there was a girl here with me," I looked at Carlisle and he nodded.

"I'll go call and tell her for you," he smiled back at me and walked back towards the house, leaving me and Edward alone. Edward still held onto my hand as we stood in the clearing and waited for Carlisle to come back. I let go of his hand and lay down in the grass which was still wet from the rainfall that morning, but I didn't really care if I got wet. Edward sat down and laid next to me, slipping his hand back into mine.

"So how did you sleep last night?" he asked, trying to be nonchalant about it, even though he knew exactly how I slept last night. I've had nightmares every night and every time I scream Jacob's name and Edward comes rushing in and rocks me to sleep. It's routine and a little embarrassing; he eventually decided to just start staying in my room with me when I slept.

"The same as always and you know it. I'm sorry I'm such a baby all the time. You always have to watch me…" I mumbled as I looked up at the sky, feeling his eyes on me.

"You're not a baby and it doesn't bother me at all. I like being around you and I like being there for you, you're not a burden to me in anyway," he said, his breath tickling my ear. I smiled and turned to look at him and found his intense golden gaze, which only made me smile more.

"What?" Edward whispered, a small smile playing at his own lips. I just giggled and put my arm over his stomach and looked up at him, my chin on his chest.

"Thank you, for everything. I know it's only been a week now but you've really made me feel… I don't know, _worth it_ again. Besides Sam and Leah, you're really the only person who's made it one hundred percent clear that they'll always be there no matter what. I mean, you don't have to be here right now but you are… and it makes me happy. That's really all I ask, for someone to care for me instead of hurt me. Thank you…" I said as he put both of his arms around me.

I shifted so that I was fully on top of him and lay between his legs. He ran a hand through my hair and for the first time since I got to La Push I felt my world piece together. But there was still a large piece missing that was not letting me forget…

_Jacob…_

"You're welcome…" he whispered, and I closed my eyes and rested my head on top of his chest, taking pleasure in the small comfort I held with him…

Suddenly I felt my legs stand upright and my eyes flew open. Edward had stood both of us up and I heard footsteps coming towards us. He held my hand again and gave me a crooked smile as Leah and Carlisle come from the woods. Blood rushed to my face.

"Hey Lor-lor," said Leah before I let go of Edward's hand and hugged her tight. She gave me a warm/worried look and hugged me tighter. "So are you sure you're ready for this?" she asked me. I nodded although my stomach was churning. "Well then let's do it. Ahem, I'm going to need you guys to clear out before we do this," she said eyeing Edward.

"Of course, we'll be nearby if you need anything," said Carlisle nodding and walking away. Then Edward walked over to me and kissed me on my forehead before following his father. I stood there for a moment knowing that Leah was probably not happy. I slowly turned around to find her with her hands on her hips and eye brows lifted, disapproval written all over her face.

"Leah _don't_. It's nothing at all, we're just friends I swear… and still, so what if we were more than friends? He isn't hurting me. He's helping me and he's healing me. If Jacob gets to be with someone else, I think I deserve to also. Edward makes me feel important and not worthless, which is a lot less I could say for Jacob…" I said, crossing my arms. After a few minutes of staring each other down, we gave up on this argument for another time and got to the task at hand.

"So, first things first, unless you want your clothes to be destroyed, strip down," she said, lifting up her shirt. I followed her lead and undressed, finally peeling off my underwear. Standing there naked in front of Leah didn't bother me at all, but the slight breeze did.

Right after Leah was undressed she shifted immediately, which was kind of weird to watch. How everything about her that people would see as normal, completely changed. Her arms growing fur and her muscles rippling out, her nails turning triangular and thick… it was pretty morbid.

When she was fully wolf she turned and looked at me, nodding her head telling me it was my turn. I nodded back and closed my eyes trying not to focus on how cold I was. I tried really hard, imagining what I would look like. Seeing the hairs sprouting and my ears moving to the top of my head… but nothing happened. I opened my eyes to see Leah had changed back and was putting her clothes back on.

"Maybe you should try thinking of something other than changing. Try to think of something that makes you emotional, maybe something that makes you angry…?" she said, her eyes questioning whether or not she should let me do this. I scrunched my eyebrows and knew exactly what she was trying to say. She was telling me to think about Jacob. I sat down on the grass and put my arms around myself, and squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself to think all the things I've been wanting to think.

I thought of him holding me and kissing me and telling me that he loved me. I saw his fingers run through my hair and down my back, and I swore I could actually feel him there. He rocked me and whispered my name sweetly in my ear and repeated how I was his entire world. But then as he and I began to restart the cycle, his fingers dug into my head and pulled my hair, ripping through skin and he laughed. I wanted to scream but held back because I knew what this was turning into.

I was back in James's basement and Jacob loomed over me with that monster standing next to him, Jasmine on the other side. I was naked and my limbs were tied to the table and tears streamed down my face as they pointed and laughed at my pain. Jacob and Jasmine held me down as I tried to fight against James's cold and calloused hands. Jacob covered my mouth forcefully, and his hand was chillingly cold. James did as he usually did, touched me and beat me, he made me bleed and cry out in forceful pain.

He threw me across the room and their laughter grew and buzzed like mad hornets in my ear. I cried out for Jacob to help me but all he did was scoff and take Jasmine in his arms… and he kissed her with passion and care. He held her tenderly and stroked her head the same way he did me. I could see him whisper my name into her hair… that's when I broke.

I could feel every part of me changing and shifting as I became what people feared. I could feel Leah as she changed with me. There was still a buzzing in my head as horrible images flashed across my mind. When I was completely done with my transformation, I could feel tears streaming down my muzzle. I opened my eyes and looked at Leah, and she looked back at me with pain in her eyes.

A muffled voice said what sounded like, "I'm sorry," and I knew it was her. Nothing I heard from the pack right now would be clear until the initiation, and I was beginning to feel very lonely. Being a werewolf with no one else to share your emotions and thoughts with is like being eaten alive; painful, uncomfortable and suffocating.

I whimpered and she nodded telling me to change back so I did. Changing back was easier, much, much easier… I walked over to my clothes and got redressed and began to walk back with Leah. I still saw the image of Jacob tearing the skin from my head in my mind, and I heard James's horrid laugh ringing in my ears.

"Are you okay Taylor? I'm sorry I made you do that…" she said looking down. I turned and looked at the girl who I claimed as my sister and took her hand.

"It's okay lee-lee. It's not your fault. My minds just all screwed up and you couldn't have stopped it anyway," I said as the Cullen's home came into view. She turned and gave me a much needed hug and I gripped her back, feeling as all of my pain seeped into her. We continued to walk towards the huge house, when I noticed Sam's truck parked out front.

"What does that boy want now?" I groaned as I walked up the steps. The front door was unlocked as it usually was and I opened it, preparing myself to give Sam a stern talking to. But as soon as I opened the door I saw what I was the most unprepared for.

Jacob was sitting on the chair directly across from the door, he looked tired and his eyes weren't as bright as I remembered them. It was like he hadn't slept in weeks… As I looked in his eyes the world stopped and I couldn't breathe, it felt like the wind had been knocked out of me.

Edward was by my side immediately and held me up as I felt my knees get weak. I wasn't ready to talk to him, let alone talk to him in person with three of the most over protective people in the world in the room. If I wasn't about to pass out I'd be crying and trying to run as far away from here as possible.

"I-I-I-I, I need to go lie down…" I stammered and Edward nodded and helped me across the room and up the stairs, all the while I felt Jacob watching me. I knew that I was majorly overreacting, but the shock of seeing him right in front of me within my reach struck a nerve and my whole body felt like it was trying to shut down. I felt Edward lay me down in my bed and run his fingers through my hair. I sighed and let him calm me down, my heart slowly beating at its normal pace. I closed my eyes and curled into a ball as I heard someone open the door. Edward stopped stroking my head and rose from the bed.

"I need to talk with her, if that's alright. I haven't seen her in a while and just I really, _really_ need to talk with her…" I heard a voice that reminded me of Jacob's. The image from the field came into my mind again and I curled into an even tighter ball. I heard Edward hiss and whisper under his breath if this was what I wanted.

I honestly didn't know what I wanted. All I knew was that my head was pounding and the boy who tore my heart to pieces was standing in the doorway. But my protector was standing right in front of him, willing to push him right back out the door if I willed him… but despite that, I am Jacob's imprint so this is going to happen at some time. It might as well be now… when he isn't with Jasmine.

I nodded my head and I heard Edward step out before saying, "I'll be in the next room," and shutting the door behind him. I chewed on my fingers as I heard Jacob come towards the bed and sit down. The bed sagged a bit and my body began to shake. He was so near, so close that all I had to do was reach out and touch him…

"Hey…" he whispered. I felt my nose begin to run and I sniffed. I couldn't speak, not one word was willing to come from me. I shifted a bit as my toes became numb and cold.

"I… I don't know what to say to you. Sorry isn't anywhere near enough. You deserve a lot more than sorry. Taylor, can turn around, _please…_?" I felt him scoot towards me and my body tilted towards him. I squeezed my eyes tighter closed and tried to curl farther into myself, but I couldn't move anymore.

"Please Na-Na, look at me. I'm sorry, I really am. I didn't know all of this would happen… I don't know what I was thinking. I just… I need to hear you say _something_… _anything…_" he began to sound helpless. The pain in my chest was beginning to intensify and my head was pounding from the light coming in from the window.

Eventually, I don't know how I did it but I sat up. I turned my body upright and leaned against the head board. My eyes were rimmed red and the blanket in front of me rolled on in an ocean of white, blurred and seemingly moving across my legs. I pulled my knees to my chest and felt the bed shift again as he scooted closer.

"Why did you lie to me?" I whispered my voice breaking. I opened my eyes and I turned to him and looked him in the eye. He flinched a little as I searched his gaze for answers, trying to deny the pain I saw swim through them. He looked intently at his lap and bit his lip.

"I don't know what you mean…"

"Why did you tell me to wait for you if you were clearly not planning on waiting for me? And why did you promise you were never going to leave me alone? I mean I get we were kids and everything thing but... I just don't understand how you could think that I wouldn't take that seriously…" I said with frustration.

"I really don't know what you mean Taylor. Tell me what you're talking about because I don't understand either…" he said looking at me and reaching for my hands. I pulled away and shook my head. He can't have forgotten…

"The night before I left! We spent three hours sitting in your room together. You held me and you told me to wait for you because I was your girl and you really liked me. I don't know about you, but I took those words to heart. How could you just forget that? Unless you didn't mean it… or I'm really just not that important to you," I muttered. I can't believe he forgot. All that time I held myself together thinking that he was waiting for me, thinking that when i came back his arms would be open wide to me and we'd pick up where we'd left off… when he'd forgotten the very words that kept me from falling apart.

"Damn... I mean that whole month I spent in that basement I thought of you. I thought of the promise I kept to you and I held on. I could've just let go you know… I could've given up long before they found me but I stayed in my body for you. But then of course it would be just the easiest thing in the world for you to forget… I feel so stupid for thinking that you'd really be waiting for me…" I mumbled feeling him come closer.

"Taylor… what are you talking about? What basement?" he asked, fear lacing every word that tumbled out of his mouth. I sucked in a sharp breath as I came to the realization that I'd almost told him about James. I looked up at him and into his intense brown orbs feeling them bore into me.

"I-I can't tell you that…" I said quickly trying to get up.

"Well why not?" he said, also rising from the bed. I stumbled over to the door and was about to open it but... I felt his hands lay gently on my waist. His arms slowly wrapped around me and he pulled me close to him. My back molded to his chest with perfect ease and I felt myself begin to melt into him. I tried to fight it, I didn't want to fall into this and just let him have his way. He laid a soft kiss on my neck and a shiver went up my spine…

A door slammed in the hall.

"No Jacob, let go of me," I said, my voice not coming out as strong as I wanted it to. I felt him loosen his grip a little, but then he laid his head back on my shoulder. I sighed getting frustrated. "Jacob Adam Black, let go of me _right now_," I snapped. His hands left me and I felt something internally kick me in my chest.

_What the hell are you doing…?_

"You can't just do that Jacob. I can't just tell you everything that happened since I moved and just hope that everything will end perfectly. I wish it was that easy but it's not. Jake you know me. I've always been a broken person, always hiding what I feel… I don't want to force you to love me. I don't want you to feel obligated to me because you're obviously _not_ considering the last three weeks… school starts in four days and I'm going back to Sam and Emily's in two… I already have enough on my plate Jacob. I don't need to add you to my list of people to tell that I'm fine. I just need you to be as calm and as understanding as possible when I say that I can't love you as long as you're in love with someone else…" I spilled, feeling that I might regret this.

"What…? Someone else…?" he spoke, his voice sounding strangled. It hurt me down to my core to know that this was hurting him but… I looked up and into his eyes again, the pain in them was fierce. I almost expected his heart to come thudding out of his chest, beating on the floor. I was sure mine was on the verge of stopping completely.

"Jacob, look me in my eyes and tell me that you don't still love her. Tell me straight to my face that you are over Jasmine, that you're not thinking about her _right now_…" I waited… and I got silence… I looked up and directly at him. He was staring at the floor. And my heart shattered.

"That's what I thought…" and with that, I turned on my heel and walked out the door. I think I'm going to be sick…


	14. Thirteen: Running

**Chapter 13: and now your whole world is caving in…**

**Edward's p.o.v.**

I had to refrain from punching a hole in the wall. He just was asking for it wasn't he? He puts his hands on her because he thinks she'll just give in to him? Who the fuck does he think he is? I hate imprinting so much. It was hurting probably the most important person to me, killing her in fact. I couldn't take any more of what was going on right next to me, so instead of making a scene (like I _really, really_ wanted to…) I walked out.

I was going to go downstairs but changed my mind, closing the door with more force than I intended. I went out of my window instead because I didn't want to have to answer any questions. I knew from the beginning that letting myself fall for her was a bad idea, but she needs someone. Without me she'd be even worse now than she already is. I'm the one who she poured her heart out to, and I'm the one that I _know _she loves. I just don't know how to tell her all of this…

I ran back to the meadow and circled it a few times trying to let my frustration out so I could go back with a level head. Part of me was afraid that she might give in sooner, I don't want to lose her. I'm being selfish, but I don't care. He didn't want her so why should he get her? I'm holding onto her with all that I've got… I love her.

I finally lay down on the grass and I looked up at the sky. The sun was beginning to set and was fading from bright blue to reddish pink. Today was an abnormally clear day in forks, I didn't mind it. The crystal blue sky reminded me of her crystal blue eyes, the gentle warmth of the sun reminded me of her warm soft skin… as Emmett would say:

Edward Cullen my man, you are officially whipped…

I couldn't deny that all of me was wrapped around every single one of her graceful fingers. She was full of life and love that was being wasted on that shit head Jacob Black. He was even thinking about that Jasmine girl when he came over the house. He was trying not to but she was clearly in his mind a majority of the time, even when he was talking to Taylor he was thinking about her… I wanted to kill him.

What I gathered from the images in his mind of her weren't very impressive anyway. She was normal and regular, nothing that popped or was special except for the fact that she was great in bed. That made me even more angry. Taylor is more than she ever could be and any person who chooses her over Taylor is an idiot. But I guess great ass is all that really matters to a dog…

**Tape's p.o.v.**

I stormed out of the room and down the hall. I could feel Jacob behind me and I walked faster until I got to the stairs. I could feel violent tremors going down my spine as I ran down the stairs, wanting to be as far away from him as I could.

"Tape, wait up!" he called. I ignored him, trying to get out of the door before I exploded. I heard voices, but they were dulled by the ringing in my ears. I finally got to the door and opened it to find a very large vampire in my way.

"Whoa there, where are you going little lady?" the burly brown haired vampire said as he blocked my exit. I just held back the snarl that almost ripped through my lips as I tried to push past him. A blond was standing behind him and she looked annoyed. I wanted to rip her limb from limb.

"_Move_…" I growled.

"Let her go Emmett, she needs to cool off," said Carlisle. Emmett stepped out of my way along with the blond and I began to run, taking off my clothes as I felt myself loosening the grip that I had on staying calm. I finally shifted and broke into a sprint, just running aimlessly. I didn't know where I was going or what I was going to do with myself, but I knew I had to get far away from anything that had to do with my heart being torn from my chest.

As I was running I soon felt that I wasn't alone anymore and started to slow down. I came near the edge of a cliff and looked out at the sky, the reddish pink tint swirling away at the blue. The sky looked split in half as I was reminded of the dream I had on the plane. That was the dream that was different than all the others. Usually my nightmares are of me in James's basement, but that one scared me more than the dreams of James. For whatever reason I don't know, but it felt so close to home…

"Are you alright?" I heard Edward's voice from behind me. I whimpered and hung my head as he came up next to me. "What happened? What did he do to you?" he ran a hand through my fur making my heart jump. I shook my head and laid down, my paws dangling over the edge.

_He still loves her Edward…I don't understand it. I thought imprints were supposed to love you and no one else, I thought an imprint wasn't breakable under any circumstances… but of course I had to be the imprint that wasn't wanted,_ I thought, feeling tears drip down my muzzle. Edward sat next to me and ran his marble fingers through my fur. My heat reacted wonderfully with his cool touch and I wanted to phase back so I could curl up against him, but I couldn't, I didn't have any clothes.

"That's not true… I know someone who wants you, he's just… not sure how to tell you exactly," Edward said, his stroking getting slower and slower. I sighed and nuzzled into his side, feeling a bit of the weight lift from my shoulders. I was happy to know that Edward cared about me and I really wanted to be able to share all of the same feelings with him, but I know that one day me and Jacob will be together, because if not, I might not live to see the end of the year, and that's a scary thought… he can't be so selfish that he would let it go that far. But then again, I don't know him as well as I thought I once did…

"Do you want to go back now?" he whispered in my ear. I nodded and stood up. We began back to the Cullen home and I felt someone join me in my mind. The voice was faint but I knew it was there and it sounded like Embry a little bit…

_Hu…tape…we…initi…togeth…you and the bloodsu…first beach… okay… hear me?..._ the voice went in and out like a bad radio transmission and I tried to get what they were trying to say. Me and Edward were at his house and I saw my clothes lying nearby. I grabbed them in my mouth and tossed them behind a nearby bush and trotted behind it and phased. Phasing was easier each time, phasing back always the easiest.

When I had my clothes back on I stepped back out and Sam was standing by Edward. I sighed and walked over to him, not really wanting to talk with him but I knew it was necessary. He came over to me and hugged me tight and I couldn't handle so much love. I lightly pushed away and he let me go. I looked up at my big brother and he smiled weakly at me.

"I'm sorry… I thought you two could try talking it out. That's what helped me and Emily. I guess Jacob's just… different." He said apologetically. I sighed and hugged my big brother.

"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault that Jacob's a dickface. I heard someone in my head, I think it was Embry… I couldn't hear him very clear but it had something to do with the beach?" I said fidgeting, not liking having to stay in one place for very long. Edward slipped his hand into mine and I calmed down a bit, the cool smoothness of his hand calming like tea. Sam looked at our intertwined hands for second with annoyance and went on with what he was going to say.

"Yes, today is the day you join the pack. But first you and I need to talk about the James situation," he said, eyeing Edward again. He got the message and gave me a hug and gently, almost timidly, kissed me on the corner of my mouth before walking back to his house. I watched Edward as he walked away, wishing he would stay a little longer and felt Sam's eyes bore into the side of my head.

"Tape, what the fuck was that?" he fumed, obviously not okay with the fact that Edward obviously liked me as more than a friend, and that I felt the same. I sighed and hung my head.

"I know, I know. Jacob and I are supposed to be together…eventually… it's not like I have much of a choice anyway and Edward knows that. This is only temporary. We're not doing anything. He's my therapy Sam-pie. I love him," I said looking back at the house. Sam just sighed and pulled me into his arms.

"I know it seems like a good idea now, but you can't get in too deep with this lil' sis, I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, but I don't think that leading him on is the right way to cope," he said sounding so _not_ like Sam. I giggled and he looked down at me. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, thank you Sam face. But don't you think we should head down to the beach?" I said taking his hand and walking towards his car.

"Of course, but we need to talk about how you're going to be able to block anything that might give away what happened. Do you think you can avoid thinking about it? The feeling of everyone's thoughts joining with yours as you become one… it's intense. I don't want you to slip, I don't know how ready you are yet…" he frowned. Those worry lines are going to be permanently engraved into his face.

"I am ready… and even if I did slip up I've had practice. Edward, Carlisle and Esme all know already… it wasn't very easy, but I got through it without wanting to kill myself so… I think I should be able to handle it…" I said timidly. Sam just nodded and took my hand as we walked down to the beach. To say I was scared shitless was an understatement; I was terrified to finally join the pack.

I may have sounded like it didn't phase me, but I really didn't know how much I would be able to hide for too long. I'm sure that I'd have to shift back as soon as possible. I can't let them know just yet. Jacob was most indefinitely going to be there, him being beta and all… Fuck. My. Life.


	15. Fourteen: Complicating

I stood before the line of my brothers, my sister… and Jacob… and I began down the line. We all touched foreheads one by one and I felt the connection instantly. Each mind was another weight added onto my brain and my heart and I could hear them welcome me in our native tongue.

I somehow was able to put a block on my innermost thoughts, nothing slipping until I got to the last two in the line; Sam and Jacob. I stepped to Jacob, his russet fur glistening with the sunlight and his deep brown eyes piercing into mine with sorrow. It took a lot in me not to run away from him.

We painfully touched foreheads and I felt all of his hurt seep into me and my heart clenched. I could see Jasmine in his mind and anger washed over me, along with my pack mates anger. But I just took a deep breath and I lingered on him a little longer and when we parted I could feel all of my thoughts pour into him. He flinched visibly and I heard his voice clear in my head.

_"I'm sorry…"_

I felt my wall crumble a little bit and I heard James's voice chuckle…

_Awh, how cute…_

I shook my head and pushed it far back and I refused to let any of my resolve weaken. I didn't accept Jacob's apology, I just stepped over to Sam. I want to get this over with.

Sam's eyes were soft and loving as we touched foreheads and then I felt all of my transformation finally complete itself as our hearts and minds finally all came together full circle. I smiled a wolfy smile and looked over at my family as they all formed a circle around me. We all threw our heads in the air and howled. Some more whole heartedly than others…

Then we all headed back home, me and Sam heading back towards the Cullen's. I could feel one by one as people changed back. Jacob, Sam and I were the very last. I didn't think I could hold my barrier for much longer, the thoughts pushing and slamming up against my head. I looked at Sam.

_"Go ahead, I won't look," _he said, turning away. I smirked and phased back.

"I'll be at the Cullen's," I shouted running back through the woods. I was so fast and agile now, so unlike me before. I saw the Cullen's home come into view and I slowed down as I came towards the house. I could hear everyone inside, it sounded like a few of them had come home.

"_Edward, I'm pretty sure you can hear me right now, so can you possibly bring me some clothes? I left them on the beach," _I called with my mind. Soon enough Edward walked out of the front doors with some shorts and a white t-shirt, a lacey black bra and underwear in his hand. He smirked at me as he approached and I felt the blood rush up to my face.

"The underwear wasn't really necessary…" I mumbled as he handed me the clothes. I was standing behind a bush that only covered so much of me. I had my arm over my chest and I looked at the ground as I took the bra and underwear from him.

"Would you rather go without them? I certainly wouldn't mind…" he said quietly. I blushed some more and I turned around and slipped on the thong and put my arms through my bra straps.

"No its okay… would you mind hooking this for me..?" I said standing up straight. I looked over my shoulder at him and he sat the rest of the clothes on the bush and he reached out to hook my straps. He was done with the hooks, but I could feel his cold smooth fingers run across my skin and a chill traveled down my spine. I turned around and took the t-shirt off of the bush. He had turned around, his arms crossed over his chest as he waited for me to finish.

"You know, I don't mind if you look at me," I said, pulling the shirt all the way over my torso. He slowly turned around and I came from behind the bush and took the shorts in my hand. He had a small smile on his lips as I handed him the shorts. "You want to do the honors?" I said completely serious. His face held a look of slight disbelief as he knelt down and held out the shorts for me to slip my legs in.

I put both feet through the holes and he gradually pulled them up for me. Then once he got to my butt he stopped and his fingers lingered by my scars. He gently took hold of my thighs, his finger nails slightly digging into my skin. I bit my bottom lip and my heart was pounding in my ears as he leaned into my legs and laid a sweet kiss on my thigh… then one more on my inner thigh. He lingered there for a moment, his shaky breaths on my sensitivity making me shake…

But then he hastily pulled my shorts up all the way and zipped them up, clasping the button quickly. He was up in a flash.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have—I didn't get you any shoes…" he dismissed the moment like it didn't even happen. I felt a little hurt at his words. He shouldn't be sorry at all…

"I uh… it's uh… its okay. We should um, head inside anyway. I'm pretty tired…" I said, my voice shaking. I quickly walked over to the front door. My eyes were starting to burn.

I opened up the door and saw Carlisle and Esme sitting on the couch with the big vampire and the blond was sitting next to him. Carlisle, Esme and the big one smiled at me and the blond just had a sneer on her face. I felt like snatching her snooty as up and throwing her to the ground.

I already don't like this bitch.

"Hey," I said as I stepped farther inside. The big one got up and instantly swept me up in a tight hug. I laughed despite myself and hugged him back.

"Hi, I'm Emmett," said the huge friendly vampire. He put me down and I half smiled at him. "And this is my girl, Rosalie," he said pointing to the vampire with the ugly attitude. She just rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. _Same to you you fucking dyke…_

"Um, well it's nice to meet you. I'm Taylor, but you can call me Tape. I'm sorry for earlier, I was a little upset. I'm not a _bitch,_" I glanced at Rosalie. "I swear… and I'd love to stay and socialize but I'm kind of tired, so I think I'll head upstairs if that's cool," I said looking over at Carlisle, making sure to avoid Edward's golden stare.

Carlisle and Esme nodded and I bounded up the stairs three at a time. I quickly headed to my room and launched myself into the bed.

I curled into the covers and I swore I could still smell Jacob on my sheets. I felt tears begin to burn in my eyes from earlier. I didn't know why, but it hurt me when Edward stopped what he was doing. I didn't expect us to really _do_ anything, we were outside… but I thought that maybe he'd do _something_.

I don't know how I should feel about it honestly. But I was so open at that moment… I just wanted to forget my obligations for a little bit. But feeling Jacob as we connected made me realize even more how much I really do love him. In the end it would've been unfair to Edward. He cares about me, maybe even _loves_ me… but I can't lead him into a false sense of security only to have to leave him later on.

My arms felt abnormally cold as I curled under the thick blankets. Although I was burning up, my werewolf temperature now over 108°, I felt cold. But it was a different kind of cold. I felt like there were supposed to be arms around me right now, like I was supposed to be molded perfectly up against **his** back… whoever **he **is.

This can't keep going like this because I know I can't go on too much longer without him. I could feel my insides get a little weaker, the cuts in my head get deeper and my heart beat get a little softer…

I'm dying.

* * *

**Edward's p.o.v.**

I hate myself right now.

Why the hell did I stop? Really, what the fuck is wrong with me? I didn't want to stop, I shouldn't have stopped… but we couldn't, _I_ couldn't. We weren't going to doanything right there of course, but I wanted to.

I wanted her right then, right now... _so bad_…

She bounded up the stairs and I knew she was upset and feeling hurt because of me, but Emmett grabbed me before I could go upstairs to apologize. He dragged me over to the couch and sat me down next to him and Rosalie, his arm squeezing my shoulders tightly.

"So… you like the puppy upstairs?" he said, a smug look on his face. I pulled away from him.

"Don't call her that…" I mumbled, getting irritated. Sometimes Emmett can be a little empty headed.

"Aw bro that's cute. So since when've you had a thing for dogs?" he smirked, elbowing me. I tried to keep myself from lunging over at him and ripping his head off. _I swear if he calls her a dog one more time…_ "So do you really like the mutt, or is this just a thing you have going on until she leaves?" he said, nudging me again.

_That's it_. I turned and grabbed both of his arms and twisted them behind his back, pressing him to the ground.

"Call her a dog again and I swear I'll kill you," I hissed with my knee in his back.

"Edward, let Emmett go," said Carlisle, walking over to us. I shook my head.

"No… not unless he promises to never call her a dog _ever_ again," I said, digging my knee deeper into his back. Then Emmett flipped us over and had me pinned against the wall. He started to laugh then he let me go and walked back over to the couch.

"It's okay, I promise I won't insult your girlfriend anymore," he snickered. I frowned and rolled my eyes.

"She's not my girlfriend Emmett. You're not in any place to be calling her _anything._ You have no idea what her life has been like. For you to call her a _dog_ is not only disrespectful, but it's damaging. She can hear you you know," I said catching up with her thoughts.

_Thanks for the defense Edward but he's right, I am a dog. There's no need to deny it, it's what I am… _she thought to me. I sighed and began up the stairs. I flipped Emmett off on the way up and he just snickered.

_Fucking asshole…_ I got to Taylor's room to find her curled under the covers. I kicked off my shoes and took off my sweater leaving my white t-shirt and jeans. I crawled into the bed with her and put an arm around her. But then she shifted so that I was no longer touching her. I sighed and ran my fingers through her dark brown hair, playing with the ends.

"I know why you didn't keep going. It's not because of Jacob or because of what happened to me… it's because I'm a werewolf isn't it? I'm a dog, I smell bad to you… but its okay, I understand." she whispered. I sat up and pulled her onto my lap and found tears streaming down her face. I shook my head and wiped her tears away. I hate seeing her cry.

"No, that's not it at all. Don't let Emmett get to you alright? You are under no circumstances allowed to call yourself a dog, do you understand? You're better than that Taylor, so much better. And you don't smell bad to me, I like the way you smell… like lilacs and vanilla," I said, feeling the smile steadily grow on her face.

"The reason I stopped outside… it's not that I didn't want to keep going, because I did. It took a lot of will power for me to stop… It's the fact that I _wanted_ to keep going. I want you Taylor but… you're not mine," I said, quieter this time. Her smile slowly faded away with my words.

"So it is Jacob," she sighed. "Look, I've finally come to realize that… he is always going to love her _more_… and I can't wait my entire life for him to forget her because he won't. He was even thinking about her at my pack joining ceremony. He loves her more than he will ever love me… and that means that he and I will never happen. So then that means I'm going to…" she paused and I read her thoughts.

_It means I'm going to die…_

Every part of me went rigid as each word passed through my mind. I self consciously held her closer to me as she silent tears began to run down her face. I shook my head, refusing to believe this.

"No… you won't die Taylor. I'm here, you won't die…" I said, trying to calm her down, trying to get those thoughts out of her head. Suddenly I began to notice it all. Her face didn't glow as much anymore, her heart was beating much softer than it should be, her cheeks looked a little more sunk in, I could see the beginnings of three scars on her scalp that were beginning to travel down her forehead…

"I just—I just want to experience what it feels like to be loved like _that_. I just want to be able to feel that _someone_ wants me. I just want what we have right now," she said, looking me in the eyes. She was in so much pain that it hurt me physically

"Edward… will you love me, please?" she whispered as she straddled my waist. I laid my hands on her hips, squeezing her softness gently. Her warm, soft skin felt so good against my cold, hard skin and I ran my hands up her back slowly. She took my face in both of her small hands and I couldn't deny her as she took my lips in hers.

I felt warm as she wrapped herself around me, her body making my own temperature rise. I _wanted_ this with her, but she _needed_ this with me.

I kissed her along her neck and felt her back arch from the way I touched her. Then I began to reach for the very bra straps that I helped her put on only minutes ago. She tasted so sweet to me and her blood rushing faster through her veins, although her heart was trying much too hard.

I started to get worried. I had to use a little force to pull myself from her because she was stronger now. I looked in her eyes and took her hands in mine.

"Are you sure that we should be doing this? I can hear your heart and… it's not doing too well…" I said, my forehead connected with hers. She put her hands on my neck and sat down on my lap. I tore my hands from her body and she slid her hands down to my chest.

"I-I don't know…" she whispered. "I don't know anything anymore…"


	16. Fifteen: Tasting

**Jacob's p.o.v.**

The pack joining ceremony had to be the most painful experience of my life. Taylor was hurting so bad, aching because of me… _dying _because of me…

I know that she saw the images of Jasmine that passed through my head. I knew she could feel all of it, the emotions I felt. She could feel how much in love I was with another girl… goddamn it. I felt as she left me and Sam and ran to the leeches. She was in love with one of them, I could feel it…. And it made me sick to my stomach.

_So, are you fucking happy? My sister is in love with a damn bloodsucker! And she's in even more pain now than she was before! And it's all because your ass can't get it through your thick skull that this isn't just about you, this is about my sister's LIFE and I swear to you if you don't get it together NOW I'll kill you… and that is a promise. I don't care if it tears this pack apart. I will tear you limb from limb…_ I heard Sam snarl angrily in my head.

I whimpered and hung my head, staring at the ground below me. He was getting closer to me as he spoke. His words were harsh, but have to admit that I deserved it. He was right.

_I'm sorry okay…? I know I deserve any and everything that you and everybody else gives me if I mess this up, but I can't help it. I can't get Jasmine out of my mind no matter how hard I try. She's stuck there and she won't go away…_ I said, getting angrier with myself. It was really like Jasmine had a spell over me. Even when I didn't want to think about her, I thought about her. When I wished I was with Taylor, Jasmine automatically popped in my head.

It was like something didn't want me to think about Tape. I have no idea what's going on in my own mind.

_Well maybe you should talk to her. You know, end things officially. I'll come with you and wait outside. But you need to get this straight Jacob… I don't know what I'll do if I lose her… _he thought back to me.

I could feel the complete agony at the thought of Taylor dying I knew I needed to fix this. It wasn't only going to be the end of me, it would be the end of Taylor. My best friend's life is in my hands…

We got to Jasmine's house in a few minutes and I felt something strange in my stomach, like someone was trying to pull it out of my gut. I looked at the small purple house and suddenly I really didn't want to be there. Do you ever get that feeling, the feeling when you know something really, really bad is going to happen..? Yeah, it's hitting me strong.

"You ready to get this over with?" said Sam, opening his car door.

"More ready than I'll ever be," I said, stepping out after him. He stayed by his car, leaning on the hood as he waited for me to go inside. I reached out to knock on the door, but it swung open.

"Jacob! Oh my god! I thought I wasn't ever going to see you again!" she shouted, throwing her arms around my waist. I flinched a little and put my arms around her. I was instantly disappointed with how I felt. After all this time looking forward to when I could see her, thinking about her and driving my hole even deeper into the ground… I didn't feel _anything_.

All I wanted was Taylor…

"Uh, it's good to see you too Jasmine. I didn't come here to catch up though. We need to talk," I said, letting her go. She looked up at me and frowned.

"Talk about what? You fixed everything with that girl right? It's done and we can get back together," she said, her brown eyes piercing into me. I shook my head and looked past her. I almost felt like laughing at her because the thought of being with her seemed so ridiculous now.

"We need to talk," I repeated, nodding towards the living room. She stepped away from me and let me walk by her. I stepped inside and sat down on the couch slowly. She was close behind me with her arms crossed over her chest. She was definitely pissed. I took a deep breath and ran my hand through my hair.

"What do you want Jacob?" she spat. I turned and looked at her, getting a little angry myself.

"We're done Jasmine; we have to end this officially. I can't keep thinking about you, can't keep trying to hold onto you because it's not you I should be holding onto… it's Taylor. If I don't get my head on straight for her she could…" I felt myself choke a little on my next words. "She could _die_… so we have to end it, it's for the better." I said, feeling a little lighter. She just glared at me and I felt that feeling come back to my stomach.

"Are you sure about this Jacob? I don't want you to do anything you'll regret…" she hissed, and I could swear I saw her eyes flicker black. I nodded and crossed my arms across my chest.

"One hundred percent sure, I mean why would I not be? Why would I ever regret saving my best friend who's also my _imprint_'s life?" I said, watching her intently. Her facial expression lightened and she sighed before sitting down next to me. Then she reached for my hands.

I didn't take them though, I don't want her. But then I felt my arms being pulled from my chest and my hands latched with hers. What the fuck…?

"No Jacob, I can't let you do that. The moment you gave yourself to me, the moment we made love… you were _mine_. And you can't change that. You and I were meant to be, and you know it…" she said, sickeningly sweet in my ear. All of the sudden my nose was overpowered with a horrid smell. It burned my nose and I coughed a little. Then her hands got cold and her heart beat stopped. Her eyes changed to a dark orange color and she smiled wickedly at me. My eyes widened as I realized…

"You're a bloodsucker?" I said with disbelief. With almost all of my strength I let go of her and scooted away. She laughed a beautifully yet maniacally and grabbed me again.

"Of course I am, I'm just good pretty kickass at keeping it a secret. One of the great things about being a witch in a past life is that camouflage is a knocking ability. I'm also pretty persuasive… come upstairs with me would you Jakey?" she purred. Her voice was smooth as butter and she was batting her eyelashes at me. I scoffed and yanked my hand from her grip.

"Fuck that I'm going home. Disgusting… I can't believe I fucked a leech…" I spat as I walked out the front door. I could feel her run in front of me and I stopped. She still had that wicked grin on her lips and her eyes were filled with darkness.

"You and I both know that you're not going out that door unless you go upstairs. It was our rule, remember? No one leaves until the clothes come off…" she whispered, sliding her hands across my chest. I shivered despite myself. "You know I can make you do whatever I want you too Jacob… and you like that, don't you?" she purred to me, another tremor going down my spine. She's winning…

"No, that stupid rule is done with. You and me, we're done with… don't touch me you disgusting bloodsucker," I said, more trying to convince myself. Then the gross leech smell was replaced by something intoxicating, something overpowering… she suddenly smelled like Taylor.

"Do you like the new feature? I was practicing my spells last night. Since I know exactly what you're lusting for I can make myself exactly what you want…" she said, her voice changing into one that I've known since I was a toddler. Her face changed and so did her skin… soon I was standing in front of an exact replica of Taylor wearing Jasmine's clothes. I shook my head and I tried to resist her but she had a hold on me. And it was a good one too.

"You know you want me Jacob. Just think, the real Taylor is with Edward Cullen right now. That sluts probably all over him. She doesn't care about you, nor does she want you. So if she dies it's on her head, not yours…" she said sweetly in my ear. Her hands were soft and delicate, just like Taylor's…

"No… I don't want you. And I don't care if she's with him because I love her. She can be with him all she wants, it doesn't matter. I'll do anything to get her to love me again... You will never replace her so just leave me alone," I said, pulling away from her and barging out of the door. I smelled the leech stench again and I jogged toward Sam. His nose was scrunched up and he looked at me funny.

"Why do I smell leech?" he asked me as I climbed into the passenger seat. I shook my head and looked at the door as Jasmine walked out and slammed the door. She smiled at Sam and he glared at her, his nose flared. She smirked at him and he just stared her down.

"You're one of them? Bitch, you're the reason my sister is about to die and you don't give a shit. I should've known you were one of them," he snapped at her. "You can't be trusted. You're not welcome on this reservation anymore so I suggest you leave…" he snarled. Her eyes showed the faintest hint of fear before she just smirked at him and turned away.

"Whatever you filthy mutt…"

* * *

**Tape's p.o.v.**

We just lay there, staring in each other's eyes and taking in the presence of one another. He had me wrapped tight in his arms and I felt safe there. I wanted so much from him… but it was too much. I couldn't ask all of what I was asking of him. I don't want to hurt him like that. I'm going to die anyway, I might as well spend my last days somewhere I feel safe.

_I want him…_

Edward pulled me closer to him and I wrapped my arms tighter around his waist and buried my face in his chest. I could feel my heart beating and it was struggling. I just wanted this to be over with already, get my life done with. I was causing people pain, I was pulling people apart. Jacob was in love, and I was ruining that. Edward was giving me his all, yet I wanted someone else… and Sam, Leah and Emily were constantly worrying about me.

I was a train wreak that just continued to effect more and more people.

My Eddy kept his hands in my hair and I was molded to him almost perfectly. I was slightly angry that I was too weak to give myself to him. I can't tell you how much I just want to give him every part of me. I just wanted to know for a second that someone was willing to take my love. No consequences, no later, just for the now.

"Do think that maybe we could…" then I stopped. I shouldn't even mention it… His cool hands were a little warmer they and traveling down to my waist. It felt good… He kissed my head and began a trail down my jaw line, so soft and tender…

"Yes we can, if that's what you really want…" he whispered, clearly hoping I would say yes. I let go of him and climbed on top, wrapping my legs around him.

"Yes… but as friends right? We can walk away from this just the same right?" I breathed as I looked in his eyes, feeling his hands reach down into my shorts.

"Of course… always friends…" he whispered huskily in my ear. I felt my body begin react to his touch and my legs started to shake as he pulled my shorts down. I leaned into him and we captured each other. My hands reached up and grabbed hold of his bronze locks, as our kisses deepened. I let go of him for only a moment as he slipped off my bra, then we joined together again.

He sat up quickly and pulled off his shirt in a nanosecond then brought me back to him. My hands traveled down his neck and trailed down his perfect chest with the little bronze hairs that tickled the skin on my stomach. His tongue danced with mine as we explored. I felt something in the back of my head telling me to stop and that this was going too far…

I ignored it.

We kicked the covers off of the bed and sat up on our knees for easier access. He wasn't as timid as I thought he was going to be, he was urgent and passionate and I could tell he wanted this just as badly as I needed it. I felt his fingers trail down my hips and he played with my underwear and slowly neared my holy space. He paused for a moment, asking permission with his eyes. I winked and he smiled as his fingers made contact with my swell. I moaned and grabbed tighter onto his hair.

His strokes were gentle and smooth. He knew just how to make me jump and squirm with pleasure. I was in heaven at his touch, his slave absolutely. As he worked me over I never knew that I could want something so completely and totally. Soon his fingers weren't enough for me as I gasped his name.

"Edward, I-I want it… oh god, I want it so bad…" I moaned as I felt him slip his long, smooth fingers inside of me. My back arched and I felt my hands leave him and travel to me. I grabbed my chest at this sensation, the feeling that I wasn't being forced or that we were doing this because I had no other choice, the feeling that I was being made love to. His fingers pumped in and out of me with grace and precision, he knew exactly where to hit and how to feel me so that every part of my body was on fire…

"You're one hundred percent on this…" he questioned heatedly into my ear. I bit my lip and nodded. A slight squeal came from my lips and my body shook as he took his fingers from my warmth. I watched as he put his fingers in his mouth and closed his eyes. I giggled at his expression and sat up.

"I taste good huh…?" I said seductively as I pushed him back onto the bed. He moaned and then he kissed me, I could taste myself on his lips, it was sweet and little tangy. I grinned and went down and got to his pants, ripping them off. They landed in a heap of cloth on the floor. He'll probably be mad at me for that later… but I don't care.

I saw his manhood, about 8 inches, standing tall and ready for me. I yanked down his boxers and suddenly got very curious… I touched him lightly, just grazing him with my fingers and I could hear him grunt. I've seen a penis before, had it shoved into my face and forced down my throat… but now I was genuinely curious, I wanted to taste him…

I brought my lips to the head and he moaned as I felt his hand pet my head and his fingers lace into my hair. I stuck out my tongue a trailed around him… he tasted _so good_… I put the whole thing in my mouth and let it go down my throat for a little. Yummy…

"Mmmh goddamn it… Taylor, what are you doing…?" he moaned as I wrapped my lips around his swell and sucked once. He let out a small guttural sound at my gesture, my hands playing with his boys. I smiled and licked up him before I crawled on top of him. He had a smile on his face as the image of us moving together flooded my mind and I knew that it was now or never.

He soon had us flipped over and I could feel him at my entrance. I grabbed on to him and he lowered himself in between my legs, then I felt him enter me. My body felt him, my heart was pounding with force as my body moved with him. Yes, I felt him and I was full of him… but my heart was empty…

_This is all wrong…_


	17. Sixteen: Breaking

**Jacob's p.o.v.**

I felt it like a stake in my heart; like a lightning bolt or a landslide was traveling through my chest. I don't know what it was, but it does know that it hurt like hell.

I doubled over on the couch and I could feel everyone's eyes move from Sam to me. We were at Sam and Emily's house trying to talk about me and Sam's discovery, but this hit me. The pain was excruciating, I couldn't bear it as it traveled up my spine and throughout my ribcage. I cried out and I grabbed at my chest as the pain surged through me mercilessly.

"Jake, what's wrong?" I heard Sam say, as I let out another yelp. I felt someone's hand on my back rubbing it soothingly. It was a girl, probably Emily.

"My chest… is on… fire…" I choked, now gasping for air. "I need… some air…" I breathed, trying to rise from the couch, but my legs couldn't support me as I just plopped right back down. My chest was heaving in and out.

"I'll get you some water Jake, just lay down…" said Emily. I felt her rise from the couch and heard her walk into the kitchen. I put my legs up and Sam got up so I could lie down all the way. My head was pounding and pulling as it felt like I was being torn in two…

I opened my eyes to see everything in a blur, but I could clearly see Sam staring at me. Then his eyes widened as if he suddenly realized something and he bolted out of the door.

My breathing was rough and painful as the stake was driven deeper and deeper into my chest. Emily was back soon and Quil and Embry walked over to me. My vision was going in and out, but I could see a glint of smugness in Embry's eyes.

Then just like that it was over. I took in a huge breath of air and my eyes came back into focus. I felt Emily put the glass of water in my hands and I sat up, gulping it down. I still felt the tingling from the burn but my episode was over. I looked around the room at everyone's worried faces, although Embry looked more annoyed than worried…

"What the fuck was that?" asked Paul. I shrugged and ran my hand through my hair.

"I have no fucking idea…"I muttered. Then the house phone rang. Emily sighed and got up to get the phone. As soon as she picked it up I could hear Sam.

"Whoever has picked up the phone, I need everyone to come to the Cullen's A.S.A.P… it's Taylor. She−she's… almost gone…" he spoke, agony in every word. Emily replied with a shaky okay and hung up the phone. Then she looked over at all of us gravely.

"We need to go…"

* * *

"Sam said that only Leah, Jake and I need to come inside. If all of you go in there now there's bound to be chaos and that's not what she needs right now," spoke Emily softly and smoothly, although I could tell she was scared. We all were.

"I'll come and tell you all when it's okay to come inside…" she said as she walked up the stairs with me and Leah. Embry looked pissed as he sat on the couch of the bloodsuckers and looked at his feet. Quil, Seth, Paul and Jared sat all around the living room, too shaken to say anything.

I walked silently up the stairs, Leah and Emily in front of me. I wanted to bolt up the stairs and burst through the doors of Taylor's room and hold her close to me. I wanted to love her and cherish her and make all of her pain go away. I just wanted to make this stop. We got to the door and Emily knocked once timidly.

"Come in…" I heard someone say weakly from the other side. Emily slowly opened the door and the scene that was laid out in front of me made tears come to my eyes.

Taylor was incredibly pale and fragile looking, almost as if a feather would land on her and she'd break into a million pieces. Her eyes were sunk into her head and her hair wasn't shiny and glossy like I remembered it, but it was dull and lifeless. But the most dominate features were the scars… four of them… they ran down her forehead on the left side of her face and were beginning to curve down into her eye, not quite reaching it yet.

All of this is my fault…

Emily walked up to Sam and rubbed his back softly. But he didn't move, it was like he was turned to stone. Leah hurried to his other side and gazed down at Tape with tears flowing down her checks. I couldn't say a word as everyone stared at her like she was dead already…

Then I noticed the bronze haired vampire that was sitting at the foot of the bed. He was staring at Taylor with a look in his eyes that made the hairs on my neck stand on end.

"How did this happen?" Leah choked. "She's supposed to have at least another week before anything like this happened," she said, her words being slightly slurred together from the tears and hiccupping. The vampire looked at her with sadness and then glanced at me before looking back at Tape, that look coming back to him.

"I'll tell you how it happened…" Sam whispered. "Someone failed to realize the importance of the situation, they forgot their promise and they this go on too far, they were stupid… that someone was _me_," he said, his voice breaking. "I shouldn't have let her stay here this long. Letting her stay here was a huge mistake," he went on. Then he turned and looked at the vampire.

"I trusted you, and you go and do this to her," he said standing up. Emily shook her head and tried to get him to sit down, but it wasn't working. "You and me outside, _now. Y_ou too Black," he barked, making me jump a bit. But then there was a voice barely above a whisper that made it all come to a stop.

"No… Sammy it's not their fault…" came Taylor's voice. Everyone turned and looked over at her as she tried to sit up. The vampire was immediately by her side, helping her adjust herself. She smiled up at him. There was so much love in that one glance… I felt jealousy come over me strongly and I held back the urge to push him away from her.

"If this is anyone's fault-"

"Don't you dare blame this on yourself," the leech interjected. Taylor frowned at him and he let her go on.

"Eddy…it _is_ my fault. I should've just accepted Jacob's apology the first time. I was the one who let this go on for too long. I was being selfish…" she said, her voice small and distant. Then she looked over at me and suddenly I felt the connection from my imprint all over again.

The floor and the walls fell from under me and all I saw was her. Her breath was my breath, her heart beat was my own, her pulse, her soul…The only connection between me and the earth was her. As it should've been from the very beginning…

There was silence for a few moments and I could tell she felt it too. Her eyes widened and she took a deep breath before turning away, her cheeks flushing slightly.

"No, you weren't being selfish at all. You were trying to do what you thought was best... If I would've just accepted _you_ the first time… if I would've just let Jasmine go we wouldn't be here," I said, walking over to her. "I am so sorry that I've caused you all of this pain… I would do anything, and I mean _anything_ to fix this…" I said, taking her hand. She smiled half heartedly at me and shook her head sadly.

"I wish I could agree with you but I can't. You have every right in the world to love who you want Jacob. You're not obligated to be in love with me," she objected, clearly not agreeing with herself. I frowned at her and brushed her hair from her face, flinching slightly at the sight of what I had done to her. Those scars won't ever go away…

"Yes I am… I always was. From the first time I put my hands on you and told you I loved you, you should've been number one. I never should've even looked in that _thing's_ general direction. She wasn't who I thought she was anyway. She lied to me," I said, shuddering at the thought of me touching Jasmine, being in the same room as her…

_I still can't believe she's a fucking leech…_

"Wait a minute, you can't be serious?" said the vampire, Edward I think his name was… I looked at him and he stared at me in disbelief. "She's one of us, and you didn't know?" he said looking appalled. I frowned and wondered how he knew that. then I remembered something about vampires having heightened senses or something and decided to drop it. I just sighed and looked over at him with irritation. Then I looked back down at Taylor and her eyes were huge.

Oh shit…

"That's a little beside the point don't you think?" I tried to sidetrack, but it was already out.

"She's a vampire?" said Taylor, her face twisting up. She looked away from me and took a deep breath, her head dipping into her chest. I reached for her hands and she didn't pull them away like I half expected her to, she held onto me. _Tightly._

"Well… how come you didn't know this before?" she said quietly, her voice shaking a little. I shook my head and turned to look at Sam as he stared at the leech.

"I don't think that right now is the time to-"

"No," Taylor interrupted me. "How did you not realize that before? Couldn't you tell! I mean they smell a certain way to us, you'd think that you could recognize a vampire when you saw one," she said, her voice getting louder, although it was rough and scratchy. I looked back over to Sam and he nodded.

"Okay, just please Tape, calm down." he said, his eyes pleading with her. She just nodded and looked back at me, waiting for me to go on. I sighed, not really wanting to get into this right now, but I had to listen to her or else she'd get even angrier.

"Well, when you went back here after your ceremony Sam told me that I had to break off things with her immediately so we went to her house so I could tell her that we couldn't be together but when I went inside to go talk to her she got angry with me and then she showed me…" I said, rushing it all together. I wanted to get this out of the way. "She can create like a… artificial heartbeat and she can change her appearance and her smell too… it's weird," I rambled. "She's like a shifter but…_ not_. I don't know, it's weird…She said she was a witch before she was turned…"

"And we drove her out of the state a while ago, so there's nothing to worry about…" Sam added, I guess to make Taylor feel better. Tape just shook her head and chewed on her bottom lip with frustration. Then the room was silent for the longest time, no one really knowing what to say. I looked around the room and observed the faces of everyone here.

First there was Sam, and he looked worried, although the anger in his eyes was hard to ignore. Then I looked over at Emily and she also had a look of worry and anxiousness. Leah just looked heartbroken with her head in her hands. Edward's face was set emotionlessly, his eyes black. When I finished observing everyone else I looked down at Tape.

"I want to be alone for a little," Taylor said, finally breaking the silence. Everyone just sort of looked at each other sadly and began to file out of the room. Leah kissed Tape gently on her cheek and walked out slowly behind Emily and Sam. Me and Edward were the last two in the room and Taylor looked between the two of us slowly and pursed her lips as she thought about something.

"I need you both to promise me something before you leave okay?" she said quietly. We both nodded and I could see the bloodsuckers face turn sour for a moment. "I need you both to be nice to each other and I need you to make this easier for me. I need to think about a few things before I go back to Sam and Emily's tomorrow, but I need to do it with the reassurance that the both of you won't kill each other," she said as she stared down at her lap and picked at her fingernails.

"Okay… we promise. Right?" I said looking up at Edward. He looked up and into my eyes and I saw hate shine in them. But despite how much he clearly disliked me he nodded, his jaw clenched tightly.

"Right… we promise,"


	18. Seventeen: Transitioning

**Tape's P.O.V.**

**3 days later…**

I pulled back my sheets and groaned as the light shone through my eyelids. I threw my legs over the side of the bed and I sat up slowly so my head wouldn't explode. It was an abnormally clear day outside for Reservation weather, the sun was shining early this morning but I didn't count on it lasting.

I got up and crossed my bedroom to put on a tank top. I had slept in my underwear last night because I was so hot from my new werewolf temp. I put my hair up and made my bed before I trudged downstairs.

I was met with the wonderful aroma of meat cooking on the stove once I got down about halfway. I could feel myself start to salivate and I floated towards the amazing smell coming from the kitchen.

"Oh god it smells like heaven in here…" I moaned as I levitated into the kitchen. Emily laughed and took the bacon off of the skillet and placed it on a paper towel.

"Gosh, you can't be that hungry already!" she laughed some more. I rolled my eyes and I grabbed a plate from the cabinet.

"Yeah well, that's what happens when you're half gigantor wolf," I stated, piling eggs, three biscuits and bacon onto my plate. I heard the sound of huge feet lumbering through the house and soon Sam-pie was right next to me with a plate in his hand.

"Well good morning to you too," I pouted as I sat my plate on the table.

"Oh, sorry…" he mumbled before he gave me a good morning hug and kissed me on my forehead near my scars. Then he walked over to Emily to give her a good morning hug and a few kisses along hers.

"Did anyone call for breakfast this morning?" he asked as he picked his plate back up. Emily nodded and put some more eggs and bacon on the skillet for Sammy and whoever was coming over.

"Yes, Embry said he was coming over and so did Paul and Leah and Seth… Jacob called too but I told him that he probably shouldn't come this morning," she said absent mindedly. I sighed and dug into my food, grabbing the bottle of hot sauce and sprinkling it over my eggs.

I couldn't say that I was happy about Jacob not coming this morning. Relieved maybe, but not happy. I'm going to go to school with him later anyway so I might as well try to get the awkward part over sooner I guess.

Today is the first day of school actually, and Sam had decided to change me over to the Rez school because of what had happened. Me and Edward were on good terms after what happened although Sam almost forbade me to ever talk to him again because he knew about what we did.

He was furious but I couldn't let him tell me not to be friends with Edward, it would feel wrong to ignore him after sharing such a large part of myself with him. Edward is still my friend, and although Emmett can be overbearing sometimes and Rosalie hates me, they're still my friends too (but actually Rosalie can go fuck herself). Carlisle and Esme are like my family and even though I haven't met Alice and Jasper yet, they are too. Sam can't tell me who I can and can't hang out with. It's none of his business.

I still think the whole thing was mostly my fault though. I could've let Jacob in when he talked to me in my room at the Cullen's, but I couldn't let go of the thought that he was still in love with someone else. I'm selfish, and I'm not afraid to admit that.

If I'm going to be in a relationship with someone I expect it to be exclusive. Especially since Jacob imprinted on me… but I'm trying not to dwell on that anymore.

Key words here being that I'm _trying_…

I'm currently taking a break from Jacob right now. It'll be harder to avoid him than usual though because he, Embry, Quil and Seth are going to be going to school with me. I got my schedule in the mail yesterday and compared it with the guys and I had most of my classes with Embry and Quil. They also told me that we have all the same classes as Jacob. We'll be seniors this year.

Jared and Paul decided they didn't want to try the whole community college thing like Leah was though; they got jobs down at the waterfront. Sam was even going for a job interview to be day security at the Rez middle school.

Edward called me yesterday and told me that Alice and Jasper came home the day after I left and that Alice was dying to meet me. They also brought two of their nomad friends to stay with them for a couple months. Their names are Thomas and Serena and they're "vegetarian" vampires like the Cullens.

Sam wasn't too happy about that though because that resulted in us getting a couple new pack members. That was super stressful for Sam-pie because I had just come home and was still in bad condition. Their names are Collin and Brady and they're about Seth's age. Sam isn't letting them start school on the first day though, they're only pups so they need about a week or so to get used to being around other people.

It's amazing how much can happen in only a few days.

"Good morning everyone!" Quil announced as he walked through the door with Embry, Leah and Seth behind him. I looked over at everyone and smiled before getting back to my food. I felt someone wrap their arms around my shoulders and I looked up to see Embry grinning at me. I rolled my eyes and hugged him back.

"Good morning Funshine bear," I teased him as he let go. He rolled his eyes and kissed my scars sweetly.

"Good morning sis," he said, messing with my hair before going to get a plate. Like I've said before, we haven't been able to prove the fact that Embry was actually me and Sam's brother, but it felt too right to call him my brother. It felt like it would be _wrong_ to call him anything else or even to deny it.

"Hey, what's up?" Leah asked me casually as she sat down next to me. I shrugged and shoved a fork full of biscuits and gravy into my mouth.

"Nothing… school today and first of night patrol with Sam, Paul and Embry tomorrow because Sam won't let me patrol with anyone else…" I mumbled. "What's up with you?"

She gave me the same response, shrugging her shoulders. "Nothing much. A full day of lectures today, patrol tonight with Jared, Quil and Jacob… which, by the way… have you talked to him yet?" she said cautiously. I sighed and shook my head.

"No… but I was thinking that maybe I would later today. Sam transferred me and all and we have pretty much all of the same classes. It's going to be pretty hard to avoid him, so I need to just get it over with," I said, feeling bile form in the back of my throat. I honestly was nervous about talking to Jake again.

Now that no one was in the way of what was between us, it felt unreal and awkward. What did everyone really expect though? That I would just fall into his arms and that everything would be alright? It doesn't work like that… at least not for me. He doesn't just get a free pass because he finally accepted me as his imprint.

He's going to have to _work _for my trust again.

"Well, at least you're trying… I totally understand not wanting to talk to him though. Everyone's still mad at him you know," she whispered, knowing that I could hear her over all the voices in the kitchen. I sighed and kept shoveling food into my mouth.

That's another reason I don't like this, everyone is mad at Jacob and I don't really think it's fair. Everyone has been shunning Jacob since I got back from the Cullen's and I'm sick of it. Especially since he's **letting** everyone walk all over him.

No one should be mad at him, it's not like he hurt me on purpose. Yeah, I wasn't too keen on being around him all the time anymore but still that doesn't mean he should be cast out. And sure I wasn't the happiest with him, but it's not like I'm angry still…

Okay so I'm still kind of angry, but it isn't fair that everyone is mad at him for following his heart and doing what he wanted. You shouldn't be punished for being in love.

"You know, I wish everyone would just get over it. So what if I have a few marks on my face now? What's happened has happened. I'm fine now, I heal fast and it'll be a slow transition but me and Jacob will work things out," I stated lowly as I finished the rest of my breakfast. Leah just nodded and gave me a look of understanding before I got up to put my plate in the sink.

I said good morning to Seth and Quil before I headed back upstairs to get ready. I took my shower and brushed my teeth in the shower. As I got out of the shower I looked at my hair in the mirror and observed that I was going to have to cut my hair soon. I didn't want to cut it too short though because I like my hair the way it is. Maybe I'll cut it like Leah's just a little longer… maybe to my shoulders.

I straightened my hair quickly and rubbed some coco butter all over my body so my skin wouldn't dry out and I walked back into my room naked. No one can see me from downstairs. I closed my bedroom door behind me and went through my underwear drawer then through my regular clothes.

A lot of my clothes have gotten kind of small for me because of the five inches of growth I've went through. I'm six feet tall now. Emily and Kim are going to take me shopping tomorrow for new clothes. Most of my jeans are high waters and my shirts didn't cover my whole torso anymore, but I didn't mind it too much. I grabbed some shorts and my Donald duck crop t-shirt and some socks. I put on my old Chucks and grabbed my backpack and went to open my blinds.

I almost screamed when I looked outside. Jacob was sitting in his Tahoe and staring out of his window chewing on his nails. I shut the blinds quickly and swung open my door.

"SAM! WHY IS JACOB OUT FRONT?" I yelled down the stairs before running down them. Everyone else had left already. I turned into the kitchen and saw Sam's head stuck in the fridge. "Samuel Joshua Uley!" I shouted, causing him to bang his head on the fridge ceiling.

"Ow… _what_ Taylor?" he questioned me as he rubbed his head. I crossed my arms and tapped my foot.

"Don't even try to act like you didn't hear me. Why is he out there when Emily told him not to come this morning?" I said knowing he had something to do with this. Sam frowned at me.

"_I _called him. I asked him if he'd give you a ride to school," he stated like it was the easiest and simplest idea in the world. I frowned back at him and shook my head. He doesn't get it…

"NO. The answer is no, absolutely not. I have my _own_ car Sam,** remember**?" I objected. "I can drive _myself_ to school. Me, drive, and myself,f" I said, putting on my backpack. Sam just sighed and ran his fingers through his hair with frustration.

"Not anymore. I told you you're on punishment. No car for a three months, _remember_?" he said, mocking my tone. He was definitely irritated with me. I cut him a look and he shrugged. "I may be your brother Taylor, but I'm also your guardian. What you did put your life in danger, I could've lost you… you can't expect me to be so lenient," he said, playing the guilt card on me.

I immediately felt guilt make my stomach upset. I bit my bottom lip in frustration and couldn't help but to admit that he was right. I can't really expect him not to be at least a little mad at me.

"Do you really have to use that against me? I get it Sam, I did something reckless, but can you blame me? Jacob hurt me… _so much_… All I wanted from Edward was to feel loved," I mumbled, my voice breaking as I looked out the front window at Jacob, his face set nervously as he waited patiently in his truck for me to come out. Sam's face dropped in shame.

"Taylor, I−I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have—"

"No it's okay… I'll ride with him. I might as well…" I muttered, shaking my head. My stomach was throwing a fit as I wrapped my arms around myself. Sam sighed and smothered me in his arms and one ginger kiss on my forehead before saying goodbye. I walked out the door and tried my hardest not to look at Jacob before I opened the passenger door and climbed inside.

"Hey," Jacob greeted me quietly. I just nodded and put on my seatbelt. Jacob sighed and started the car before pulling out of the yard.

Awkward didn't even begin to cover the feeling of riding alone with Jacob. It was almost eerie… I wanted to scream. No music, no conversation, no sound… just nothing. Not that I didn't want to talk, but I couldn't. What would I say to him?

"So uh… you got your schedule in the mail right?" his voice cut through the silence. I took a deep breath and nodded.

"Yep… you have all the same classes as Em and Quil right?" I asked him absent mindedly.

"Uh, yeah… you guys compared schedules?" he mumbled.

"Yeah, I have the same classes too except I have regular gym same the period you guys have weight training," I said, just trying to fill the silence. I saw Jacob nod from the corner of my eye and the silence filled the car again. Then we pulled into the school parking lot.

I clicked off my seat belt and started to for the door, but I felt Jake my hand in his. I froze and kept my gaze out the window. My hand felt like it was on fire…

"Taylor… how long are we going be like this?" he whispered to me, his voice shaking. My heart was pounding in my ears and I squeezed his hand, closing my eyes as I tried to fight back my tears.

"As long as it takes for this not to hurt so much anymore…" I said quietly before letting him go. I hurried out of the truck and soon I saw Quil and Embry waiting by the front. They both looked surprised to see me getting out of Jacob's car, but they smiled at me anyway. Seth walked up to them and he waved to me. I put on a fake smile and waved back.

"Hey! What's up you guys?" I called, feeling Jacob walking not too far away from me.

"Nothing much, just waiting for you girly," Quil said as he reached out for a hug. I hugged him back and still felt eyes on my back.

"Oh, so you hug him first? Over your own brother? That's not right Tape," Embry joked, feigning hurt. I rolled my eyes at him.

"I already gave you a hug this morning grumpy bear," I teased him before he enveloped me in his strong arms. Then I said hi to Seth and he gave me a major teddy bear hug. Jacob just stood to the side and I couldn't help but notice how alone he looked…

First bell rang and we said goodbye to Seth before heading to our first period. Jacob walked a few feet behind the rest of us. My heart wanted to trail behind and talk to him, but my head told me I wasn't ready for that.

The day dragged on slowly, but not uneventfully. 4th period was English and the guys and I got to the class first, sitting in the back in a row like we had the last three classes. It went, Jacob, Quil, Embry then me. We all had to adjust our desks to fit our height, also like the last three classes. I reached into my bag and pulled out some gum and handed it down to the guys.

People began to come into the class, some of them from our previous classes and a few I hadn't seen yet. But then as soon as the girl with the skin tight white-t and baggy cargos on walked in the room, I swore I heard Embry's heart stop. She looked over at him and he stared back at her for a minute before looking down at his desk.

She had tattoos along her arms and her hair was pulled up into a sloppy bun, her back pack was hung low and her skin was a smooth looking light brown. You could tell she had swag from the way she walked to her seat and slid into it like she really could care less about this place. I was kind of wondering why she was here. She definitely doesn't look like she belongs here.

My brother was abnormally silent so I reached over and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hey, are you okay? I kinda felt that…" I whispered to him. He nodded and he looked back up at me briefly and then I knew for sure the feeling in my gut was true.

Embry just imprinted…

* * *

I couldn't help but notice how intently he observed her, how everything she did distracted him and how quiet she made him … all of that in a 45 minute class. I mean, all we really did was sit on our asses the whole class. I really hoped we had more classes with her, because if not Embry's probably going to go crazy.

The bell rang and Tanner, that's the girl's name, turned around and looked at Embry. Her eyes were expectant. Embry's eyes widened and he looked the other way before starting to get up with the rest of us. She rolled her eyes and smacked her lips.

"Dude, you've been staring me down all fuckin' class and now you actin' like you ain't finna see me? What's up wit' that?" she said, her lips traveling 90 miles an hour and a grin forming on her lips. I couldn't help but to laugh as I picked up my bag. She looked at me and pointed at Embry.

"Yo, you kno this nigga right? I been seein' you all over school wit' him. What's up wit' big dude all up in my personal space?" she asked me. I laughed some more and shook my head.

"Ignore Embry's dorkiness, the boy was pretty much raised by a pack of wolves," I smirked, looking over at the guys as they talked and kept looking back at us as they walked out the door. Quil and Jake kept nudging Embry and pushing him between them and he protested and pushed them back. Tanner nodded and snickered.

"Oh, wild child is he? I kin'a like that…" she said, looking over at Embry, a smile on her face. I chuckled and we walked to the cafeteria together for lunch. Tanner and I talked and I found out she was a new student and she just moved to Forks in June from New York.

Her mom told her she was too caught up in things other than school and needed a break from the lights and fast movement of the big city. Her mom is El Salvadorian and her father is black and had grown up in Brooklyn but his brother lives near Forks so she was staying with him. I asked her why she was going here and not to Forks High and she told me it was because there were too many corny ass white kids at Forks and she felt the rez was a little closer to home for her.

Needless to say, I couldn't keep a straight with her.

We both sat down at the table that had Quil, Seth, Jacob and Embry sitting at it and I could feel the tension at the table. I sat down next to Seth and gave him a hug before introducing him to Tanner. She had packed her own food like we did and as soon as she sat down she ripped into her bag. I followed suit.

"Yo are all the dudes you hang out wit' this fuckin' beefed? Damn girl, you gotta nice crowd here," she whispered to me between bites of her Subway sandwich. I laughed and shrugged.

"Yeah, I'm pretty much used to it by now," I mumbled before taking a huge bite out of the turkey sandwich Emily had packed into my lunch. I've never been so hungry before in my life.

Even though they were just as involved in their food, I could feel Jacob and Embry watching both me and Tanner. It didn't seem to bother Tanner to have all the attention on her, but for some reason it sure as hell bothered me. I could tell Jake wanted to talk to me, and really I just wish he'd do something about it. Yes, it hurts to even be around him right now but I just need to hear him say what he needs to say.

I finished my food and I could still feel Jacob's eyes on me as I put my garbage in my paper bag. Sandwich bag… his eyes on me… napkin… my irritation rising… plastic bag… his eyes still on me… my blood was beginning to boil.

"Jesus Christ Jacob, take a picture, it'll last longer!" I snapped at him, making everyone jump. Then I grabbed my things and left the table. I walked toward the garbage bin and threw in the paper bag and kept walking.

"Taylor!" I heard him call after me, but I kept walking. I walked right outside. By now it was raining (as I thought it would), but I really didn't care. I'm angry.

I don't know why I'm so angry, but my rage is rising at an alarming rate. I heard footsteps come up behind me and I quickened my pace to a jog. Through the parking lot, towards the woods… the footsteps behind me also gained speed and I took that was my queue to go faster. They also got faster… then I broke out into a sprint. I was in the woods by now and I was jumping over logs and rocks and twigs.

_Get away from me… _

I went faster and faster until I was sure I could lose them, but that didn't happen. My clothes were getting torn and I was drenched, water dripping down my body and making it harder to run in my shoes. I got to the beach and stopped at the shore line, my chest heaving in and out.

The pair of feet behind me was silent and I felt warmth beside me. I shook and wrapped my arms around myself, trying to keep myself from phasing. I'm so angry, I'm so mad, I'm so pissed… _what's wrong with me…? _ I pulled off my shirt and kicked off my shoes and socks. My shorts were next and I turned around and saw Jacob standing next to me, just as drenched as I was.

"I hate you…" I hissed at him, water falling on my face and dripping down my body. His eyes were dark and the look on his face was one of hurt, pain and shame. He hung his head and pulled off his soaked shirt, and then his shorts and he kicked off his boots.

"And you have every right to…" he responded. I began to back away from him, my body shaking, but not because I was cold.

Then I just let the feeling push its way up my spine and through my body and I phased on the sand, snarls ripping through me. Jake did the same and I made sure to put up my wall, he can't know all of what goes on in my mind. Not yet…

_Are you sure you want to do this? _He asked me in his mind. But I didn't answer him, I just lunged. We began to tumble, the wet sand beneath us sinking and rising, feeling like mud and sucking us in. It was sticking to our fur, sucking us into the earth. I clawed at him and he didn't fight back at first, but that just made me angrier.

_Fight me goddamn it Jake! _I yelled before pinning him and swiping at his face. I saw the four marks on his muzzle begin to bleed and he growled before throwing me off of him. I hit the sand and rolled before getting back up.

_Tape, I know you're angry but this isn't what we should be doing!_ He shouted, his voice howling with pain. I shook my head and stalked toward him.

_No! Talking won't get us anywhere! You won't know how it felt if I just tell you. I need to show you… now fight me! _I yelled before lunging back at him. He snarled and hit me in the ribs, sending me flying. I landed and he ran over to me and I could feel his worry.

_Taylor, stop it. I don't want to hurt you,_ he pleaded with me. I looked up at him and snapped at him.

_It's too late for that Jacob, _said before getting up. We looked in each other's eyes for a moment and I could feel a part of my wall crumbling down…

**_You disgusting whore…_** James's voice rang loudly in my head, his face flashing in my mind. Jake's eyes widened and I shook my head and trotted away from him and back towards my clothes and grabbed them in my mouth. I walked back into the forest and phased back. I put my clothes back on in a hurry, tears beginning to fall down my face.

"Taylor?" I heard Jake call to me. My hands were shaking, and this time it _was_ because I was cold. I stood up and started to walk back to school alone. I stumbled around in the shrubs, my agility and speed all drained from me. My heart was a lead weight and it felt like it was pulling me down to the earth.

I looked at my legs and saw the huge goosebumps all around them. My teeth began to chatter in my head and my legs felt like they weighed two tons. My tripping and stumbling got slower and soon I didn't have the energy anymore.

My knees were shaking and I just let my body collapse to the ground. I heard Jake's voice calling out to me, but I couldn't call back, the forest had stolen my voice. I heard thunder and even a few lightning strikes as the storm got worse. I sat up and leaned against a log and curled my body in close.

Jake's voice got closer and closer, but by the time he was close enough, my eyes were getting heavy…and I was gone.


	19. Eighteen: Touching

I woke up wrapped tight in blankets and it was silent all around me. An eerie silence… I sat up and looked around to see I was in a room. Not MY room, someone else's…

I heard voices coming from down the hall and I realized I wasn't wearing my clothes, but a pair of baggy sweats and a loose t-shirt. They smelled like Jake… I closed my eyes and stretched, my muscles feeling sore and achey. I got up from the bed that took up most of the room and went to press my ear to the door.

"I'm telling you! The voice in her head was not hers dad! It was a man, and it was… scary. Something isn't right. I've had this weird feeling ever since Taylor got here that she and Sam have been hiding something from us and I'm not the only one who thinks so! And I know it has something to do with that voice in her head…" I heard Jacob say to Billy. He was trying to be quiet, but I could hear the worry and anger in his voice.

"Well maybe you should just call Sam like I said and tell him that Taylor is here and we'll talk about it later," Billy said in a hushed tone. I could hear Jake groan and I felt my chest cave in. He heard James in my head… oh god, he heard James my head…

No, no, no, no, no! I'm not ready for this! Why is this happening to me, what did I ever do to make my life so shitty? I fucking hate this! I ran my fingers through my hair with frustration and I could feel strands coming out with them. Great, now my hair is falling out…

Suddenly I heard footsteps coming towards the door. I shot up and launched myself into the bed, curling up like how I was before, blankets wrapped around me. The door opened and soft footsteps came towards the bed. The weight on the bed shifted has he sat down. I felt his fingers brush the hair from my face and I had to keep from squirming. Not because it was uncomfortable, but because it felt so good to feel his touch again…

"I wish I could fix all of this. I know there's something inside you're keeping from me and I wish you could tell me…" Jacob whispered, his fingers now stroking my cheeks. Softly… gently… "And I wish I could hold you again, I wish I could make you happy… make you smile and hear that beautiful laugh of yours again… I miss you so much Taylor. I love you so much and I can't even believe I hurt you… and I wish I could say this to your face," then he chuckled and his hand left my cheek. I bit my lip.

"I'm such a coward…" he mumbled. I wanted to turn around and jump on him. I wanted to yell in his face "stop putting yourself down!" I wanted to kiss him and make him realize that he shouldn't be mad at himself anymore, I shouldn't be mad at him anymore… I need him…

_Oh Jake, oh Jake, oh my Jacob Adam…_

"Jake!" I heard Sam's voice call from the front of the house. Jacob sighed and got up before walking out and closing the door behind him. I opened my eyes and felt them burning with tears and they dripped slowly down my cheeks. Sam's voice was loud as it came from the living room.

"God, shut up Sam! She's sleeping!" Jake said in a quieter tone than my brother. I rolled my eyes.

"What did you do to her Jacob? She's supposed to be getting better, not worse!" Sam exclaimed a little quieter this time. I started to get up.

"I… I don't know… I was trying to give her space but she got mad at me and yelled at me during lunch and ran off. I followed her because it was raining and I was worried about her. We got to the beach and she told me she hated me and told her she had every reason to. And then she phased and tried to fight me but I wouldn't fight her back and she got even angrier at me," Jacob said quietly. I could just imagine his hand running through his hair and the frown set on his face.

"I asked her if we could just talk about it but she said I wouldn't know how it felt if we talked, so she had to show me… I told her I didn't want to hurt her and she said it was too late for that…" I heard him sit down on the couch and his voice was shaky… _oh Jake_… "Then I heard this voice in her head. A man… he called her a disgusting whore… it was creepy Sam," he whispered. My heart began to break as I realized what all of this meant.

I'm going to have to tell them…

Shit.

* * *

_Imprinting on someone is like… like when you see her, everything changes. All of the sudden, it's not gravity holding you to the planet, it's her. Nothing else matters. You would do anything, be anything, for her. _

* * *

**Jacob's P.O.V.**

Then she walked out of my bedroom.

Her footsteps were light and barely audible, her fingers brushed against the hallway walls and her eyes were aimed directly at me, piercing straight into me. She walked into the living room and stood beside me as I was on the couch, Sam and my father in front of us.

She did something I didn't expect. Reaching out her hand to my face, she slowly traced her fingers along my jawline. I shivered and felt my heart pound harder and off beat at her touch. She smiled a small, sad smile and then she looked up at Sam.

"Sam-pie, I think it's time we told everyone the truth, the truth about why I'm here. We're family, and family doesn't keep secrets, especially not ones like this," she spoke, a strange quality in the tone of her voice that was different than before. I don't know what it was, but she sounded… stronger.

"Are you sure that you're ready for that…?" he asked her cautiously. She nodded surely, her fingers still lingering on my chin, driving me insane. "They need to know…" then she looked down at me and her face was completely intense and I was captivated. "And you need to know. I can't hide from you if we're going to make this work… I can't hide anything anymore…" she said to me with that same undertone of strength and … love?... in her voice.

"I'll call a pack meeting…" Sam said before going outside and calling up everyone. I think my dad realized me and Tape were going to have a personal moment because he wheeled out of the room, murmuring about helping Sam. As soon as he was gone, Tape took my face in both of her hands and stood in front of me, her eyes burning into me.

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean it when I said I hated you earlier," she spoke softly, her fingers lightly tracing along my face and my neck. My fingers itched to touch her and I'm sure she read my mind. "It's okay if you want to touch me, I won't be mad… I want you to…" she whispered, her face slowly inching towards me. I slowly placed my hands on her hips and held her. It felt good…

"But you _should_ hate me. What I did to you was unforgivable. I hurt you so much Taylor, I could've killed you…" I choked, her clear blue eyes making it so I couldn't look away from her. Not that I wanted to… she shook her head at me and smiled.

"I'm not afraid to die… not anymore anyway. At least in death I wouldn't have to feel pain... I wouldn't have to remember…" she said quietly, her voice strong and steady, but at the same time I couldn't believe what she was saying.

"Please don't talk like that, I can't…" I shook my head and her thumbs ran across my bottom lip. "I can't even think about anything happening to you. I've come too close to losing you, I can't do that again. I just, can't…" I stuttered, pulling her down onto my lap. She straddled my waist and brought her forehead to mine, our noses brushing and her breath hot and sweet on my face.

"Don't worry… you don't have to worry about me leaving anytime soon, I'd worry more about you leaving me," she said, catching me off guard. She suddenly broke away from me and she stood up straight. "I need to think alone for a while… do Rebecca and Rachel still have clothes in their old room?" she said, sounding distant. I nodded slowly and she walked back down the hall.

Why would I ever leave her? Doesn't she understand the fact that I imprinted on her? I can't just leave her. She said she wasn't afraid to die, like she embraced it. She was different and… it scared me. But what scared me the most…

That voice inside her head…


	20. Nineteen: Confessing

**Ominous P.O.V.**

* * *

Everyone sat on the floor in Billy and Jacob's living room, their eyes glued onto Taylor as she sat across from Jacob, her eyes rimmed red and glassed over. Everyone noticed that there was something different about her. She sat up completely straight and she made eye contact with everyone. Her jaw was taught and poised and she didn't shake or fiddle with her clothes out of nervousness. She had them all captivated…

And she hadn't even spoken yet.

"First of all, I want to apologize. And before anyone tries to object to what I'm about to say, just hear me out," she began, her voice steady and smooth. "This is something I should've never tried to keep from everyone. For so long I have been ashamed and embarrassed of this. I've felt dirty and disgusting and inhuman… but I should've known better than to think that you all would think of me that way. I was afraid to be treated like I was going to break at any second, although that seemed to have happened anyway under different circumstances," she chuckled humorlessly.

"Sam knew of this, and so did Emily, but don't be upset with them for not telling you… Sam knew I didn't want that. Carlisle, Esme and Edward Cullen know because I felt it would make telling all of you easier. But in all honesty it really hasn't…" she sighed, sensing as Jacob, Sam and Embry tensed at hearing that. But she ignored them, and continued.

"The whole reason I came to live here in the first place, was because of something that happened to me two years ago, something that I'll have to live with the memory of for the rest of my life…" she swallowed hard. "My mother was dating a man, a man named James Barbing. James was a very controlling and abusive man. My mother, being an _idiot_, decided that she was going to see someone else behind his back. As you can imagine, he wasn't very happy when he found out… he thought that the best way to get back at my mother was of course to come after me. First he attacked my mother, she was in critical condition when her other guy found her… then James choked me and I passed out and he took me away to Oklahoma… where he locked me in his basement and he… well he did some very _unpleasant_ things to me," then she had to stop, because the room temperature suddenly shot up through the roof.

"Where is this mother fucker?" Jacob roared, his body shaking and quaking violently. Everyone else shot up with him and growled in agreement.

"I'll tear that piece of shit to shreds!" Paul shouted, his nose flared out. Everyone was on the same page, sharing their shouts of anger and protest. Amongst the chaos Taylor stood up and shook her head.

"No, you won't go kill him and you won't go find him. None of you are doing anything, so sit down, _now_." She said, raising her voice above them. Everyone looked at her shocked and then looked at Sam. He nodded in agreement. The pack went silent, and they sat down.

"He is away, rotting in a prison with no bail and no way of getting out. His death penalty is pending, and there is nothing, and I mean **nothing**… _any_ of you will do about it." Taylor spoke slowly, her hands in fists at her sides. "I have to live with this every day of my life and now that I'm a part of the pack, sadly so do you. I never wanted any of you to know because I knew how much this would hurt you, but you all deserve an explanation for the dark voice in my head… for the nightmares and for the wall I put up when we're in our second forms… but this is it. There is nothing else that you need to know except what I've told you." She stopped, and she looked down at the floor, all of her authority and confidence spilling away in an instant.

"You can go home now," she whispered, her voice small and child-like. And with that, she turned around, and she ran away.

Her breath was hot and coming out jaggedly as the tears she had held back pushed their way out of her heart and through her eyes. She held her head in her hands, her fingers twisting mercilessly into her hair, pulling it out at the roots. This all was not going at all how she'd hoped… none of it.

She was just supposed to be here to finish school and catch up with her family, to be happy, to try to forget everything that had scarred her permanently. But all of it was going wrong, so, _so wrong_… her head felt like it was about to implode and she finally just tilted her head back and let herself scream.

Her throat tried to resist her but she wouldn't stop no matter how much it hurt. She screamed for her physical pain, she screamed for her emotional pain, she screamed for her soul, for her mind, for her heart… _god her heart_. Everything inside of her was twisted around and so messed up, she couldn't believe she was even living.

She kept screaming.

The birds all flew from their trees and whatever animals that were near her, now scurried away, startled by the sound of her agony. It began to rain again as it had been on and off all day. Mud was caked onto the bottom of her feet and she had ruined the t-shirt that she had borrowed from Rachel's drawer of old clothes, her shorts were torn in several places and dirt was stuck under her nails… but she didn't care. None of that mattered to her right now.

"Taylor…?" a soft voice came from the right of her. Taylor looked up to see the face of the only good thing she could say had happened to her since she had come back to La Push.

"Hey Eddy…" she whispered, taking in a deep breath. She patted the space next to her on the ground, inviting him to sit. But he ignored her invitation. Instead he grabbed her and held her in his arms, her body shaking close to his still structure. She couldn't help but smile and wrap her arms around him tightly.

"I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I wish I could make it stop, make it go away…" he said to her, anger and pain ringing in the tone of his voice. Taylor just shook her head and kissed him on the cheek.

"But you can't… no one can. I'll be better… _eventually_, I'll be better. For now, I just need to relieve the pain little by little and work out my relationship with Jake…" she said quietly. Edward sighed and looked her in the eyes.

"How is that going… have you made up yet?" he asked her with a smile. Although he still felt so much love for Taylor, and she knew that she felt the same, they both knew that what they had could not be more than what it was. It was an unfulfilled longing that would keep them connected as long as they were still functioning. It was something deep and personal. Even though they hadn't spoken it aloud, they agreed that they would never stop being friends.

No matter what happened.

"No… not entirely. I tried to tell him how I felt… but I don't think I expressed it all that well. I sort of left him hanging… and to make it worse he finally heard James in my head. So I had to explain to them what it was… I had to leave them there, just let everyone take in everything," then she sighed, her throat screaming at her.

"Sometimes I wonder if maybe things would be better if I had never been found, if I would've just died there in that basement. All I've done since I got out was cause trouble… that seems to be all that I'm good at," then she hung her head. She was just a burden to everyone.

Riddled with issues of almost every kind, Taylor Natasha Samantha Uley had no idea what she was doing on planet earth. She shouldn't be alive. She was a mistake and a problem. She was like a wart that kept coming back and getting on everyone's nerves… her life what meaningless.

"Do you honestly think that about yourself? Taylor, you couldn't be any farther from the truth," Edward said, his mind not being able to wrap around why she hated herself so much. He loved her, her Pack loved her, his family (excluding Rosalie…) loved her…

Why didn't she?

"You may think that your situation is somehow your fault, but it's not. If there's anything to blame, then blame fate. You didn't choose this path, this life. You can't blame yourself for any of it. I love you, Sam loves you, Emily loves you, Carlisle loves you, Esme loves you, your Pack loves you… Jacob loves you… you can't beat yourself up for being loved," he tried to explain. He wanted her to see how much that she was wrong, that she couldn't think the way she was thinking.

Taylor could feel his words sink into her, and she tried to make her head understand what her heart knew, but it was stubborn, hardened. Tough, surrounded with a hard calloused skin that just didn't want to accept the fact that he was right. She shouldn't hate herself, she shouldn't blame herself for what she couldn't control…

"I know… I know all of this but, you don't understand. It's hard to love yourself when all you've known is to hate yourself… I'm sure it was hard making your transition into a vampire, feeling wrong and feeling like a perversion of nature… well that's how I feel. And it's so hard trying to leave that mindset. Believe me, I've been trying for so long…" she said, watching as Edwards face molded from one of frustration and confusion, to one of understanding and compassion.

"I never thought of it that way…" he muttered, not being able to look her in the eye anymore. He knew those feelings all too well and he hated the fact that she would ever feel that way about herself. "but I know you'll get it, sooner than I did… just know that I'm here, that we're all here for you Taylor, please don't forget that," he said softly, not being able to resist the urge to nuzzle his face into her neck lovingly.

Taylor smiled and nuzzled him back, relishing the feel of his love.

"I won't, I promise…"


End file.
